Oh dear. You're only going to get half a dream I'm afraid. the rest was genuinely too X rated.
I was meeting people for the first time. Some off twitter and some off blipfoto.
I was wearing a leek on a hat so everyone would know it was me. I was in a pub in Wednesbury and it was 1995 for a day. I was wearing normal clothes except there were holes in my top and my breasts were out!
I sat in a dark corner and one by one people turned up to join me. They all looked disappointed when they saw me and just said 'oh' then sat down looking awkward.
Eventually everyone was there and I noticed that most people were dressed as wombles.
I wanted to get drinks so I went upstairs to a kitchen with Wombat, to make teas and coffees but each time I came down with the tray there was a problem.
First of all the mugs all started leaking, so I went back up to get more, then there was no tea or coffee, then there was no water.
Then I got them all made ok, but when I got downstairs they'd all gone white because I'd put bleach in them, instead of milk.
Then I got them all perfect but they disappeared halfway down the stairs.
I decided to buy wine instead and found a dusty wine cellar but then I was covered in cobwebs and dust and as I looked at my reflection I felt extremely depressed.
My teeth and nose had grown and someone had set fire to my hair (!) it was all melted and matted.
I changed the wine to champagne and hoped people would let me off looking so vile.
I got back to the pub but they'd gone, so I decided to go upstairs to bed but there was a girl, her mother and a photographer there.
Suddenly I was the girl. There was a kitchen in the bedroom filled with eye patches and ice cubes. The mother kept popping in there for supplies. There were also other interesting items in the main room.
I'm afraid it gets X rated at this point. In fact it gets XXX rated, so please feel free to use your imagination.
Sorry! :-/
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