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Saturday, 30 April 2011


I was at some sort of holiday camp feeling trapped. I didn't want to be there. I was lonely and bored.

I came across someone (M) and my sister playing some sort of huge board game but on a lawn. They were team leaders but there was only one other person playing. A disabled young girl. I decided to play, but clearly told them both that they might be team leaders but I was the director so they shouldn't go thinking they were my boss!!

We started to play and the dice were the most complex but beautiful things. Once thrown they unwrapped and unfolded themselves into the most amazing shapes and colours. Each dot was a gemstone.

On my turn I got a purple, diamond encrusted swan which flew away and I had to hold on to fly with it.

Then I was on a tour around a department store which was also a chocolate factory and a job centre for drug addicts and lonely women.

I flitted around trying to help people fill in forms and eating as much white chocolate as I could, although I was only allowed to eat it once this bloke had stamped on it. He said it was all I deserved and that I wasn't a good enough person.

I noticed I was stood in a pool of purple liquid and he told me I expected too much love from a harsh, selfish world and that my heart had finally burst. I asked why my blood was purple and he said 'because that's my favourite colour and I want to enjoy watching you suffer, shrivel and die'!

Friday, 29 April 2011

Usual crap....

A mish mash again.  I really wish when I feel like crap in real life, that at least my dreams would be nice :-/

Anyway...There was some sort of competition to make triple paned glass.  It had to be strong and unwarped.  Myself and someone else (I can't remember who) both entered together - that is to say we both had separate entries but we worked together and didn't seem to mind which of us won.

To make the glass we had to collect dark pubic hair but we were only allowed to trim the long bits - definitely no shaving!

For some reason we decided that Paul McCartney's pubic hair would be best suited for this so we tried to find him.  It turned out he was camping in a lay-by on the A48 but when we tried to get to him, the police made us run past through a thin roped off corridor type area.

We pointed out that cars couldn't drive past as the roped off area was too thin and people who lived over there couldn't get home.  I can't remember the response to this, but there was a bit of the dream where I was cycling to school knowing I was going the wrong way.

We ran past a few times and then somehow managed to snip some hairs off a tree while no one was looking.  There was a very specific technique to do this.

We were then in the competition and our two panes of glass (three bits welded together) were up on the wall - everyone else's were down on the floor being walked on.

The others broke and it looked like we were going to win and I remember thinking that it wasn't really fair as ours were the only ones not on the floor.

Right at the end though, someone else entered and won the competition with a dog that had no bark.

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Dream within a dream...

Ok so it's not quite the plot of inception but it's involved enough for me to have woken up tireder than I went to sleep with one hell of a headache!

I was in my house which was also the Rovers Return Pub (but looked nothing like it). Various soap opera characters were around including a lady I'm sure is in Eastenders and I was trying to sell her the pub and apologise for how filthy it was. It was an enormous warren of small rooms and I was trying to show her how it could be knocked into one big space.

There was a storm outside and everyone was sheltering inside. It was my job to feed them all huge sacks of (mainly boiled) sweets.

Then my friend (JK) rang but as I was already on the phone her call came up as a yellow dot to dot line on a map. I could tell just by looking at the line that she wanted to visit my office and bring a bed settee to sleep on. I was panicking that there wasn't room.

Then I woke up and wanted to record my dream so I went to sit outside on a fire escape and started talking but some girls kept finishing my sentence for me and it annoyed me, so I went looking for a drink.    I found a flat where my friend (LD) lived.  She and her husband were not at all pleased to see me and ignored me, but they had a male friend staying who seemed taken with me (you can tell this is just a dream)!  He was very flirty and said he liked my eyes;  he tried to get me a drink but he had to get through electric light, energy gates that kept closing whenever you got anywhere near.  He eventually suffered an electric shock so he could run through the gates for me and came back not only with a drink, but a personalised mug with my name on and a description of how lovely he thought I was (!)  For the first time in a long time within a dream it was a nice feeling of being wanted and appreciated.

I then decided to go home on a motorbike, but I was in my underwear (which seemed perfectly OK in the dream).  I was also wearing sunglasses and headphones.

I remember the bike had lots of controls and I kept thinking about setting the throttle.  I was part way home (I got to Sidbury in Worcester) when I decided to go back to get my clothes, as it might get cold ... so I did.  The flat was now occupied by my dead Nana and Fiz off Coronation Street, who helped me find my clothes which had been sewn to blankets on various beds.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011


So on to last night's dream and then I am up to date.

It was one of those disjointed ones and I am not sure of the order!

There was one part of the dream where I was unwrapping Christmas presents that had been left on my bed in a pillow case on Christmas Eve.  It was a great shock to me to realise it was Christmas and I realised with no little amount of horror, stress and panic that I had completely forgotten about Christmas and had not got any presents for anyone.

In a separate part of the dream, I came across a fairground with a 'Yoko Ono ride'.  There were lots of bits of rope with metal hooks on the end, all dangling off a frame that went round and round but it was oval rather than properly round.  I hooked myself to it and just walked around to keep up with it.  Now and again I found I had to do two steps with one foot in a row which was tricky even in a dream!

I then saw that my boss was in the cafeteria and I knew I was meant to be working so I tried to hide behind my own hair and that didn't work so I unhooked myself, threw myself on the ground and pretended to be dead.

In the final part of the dream, I was in a bar with 5 men and one of them was desperate to get together with the barman.  The barman had a name badge on which said 'Ospenaarghll'.  I started to talk to him and asked him how to pronounce it and he said 'John'!

I was then in a lift with one of the 5 men and the buttons kept changing and there was never one that just said '1' which was what I wanted.  The lift went diagonally, not up and down and the floors that appeared were: 2, -4, burrow, smooth, watery bacon and 99.8.  -4 was my least favourite as when the lift opened there you were only centimetres away from a train speeding past you.  99.8 was OK as there were free cocktails.

In the end we went to 2 and had to jump through the floor to get back to the bar where I successfully paired my companion with the barman.

I felt overly pleased with myself, turned the wrong way and ended up in a banana factory. 

Catching up....

I have been away / ill, so have a couple of dreams to enter today to catch up.  

So A few days ago I had this dream...

I was wandering around a market in an unknown town in Devon or Cornwall.  At the same time I was in a supermarket that only sold sausages.  I bumped into an old friend (BC) and she was telling me how much she feared Northern people because they spent so much of the year as blue plasticine models.

I went into a little shop that only sold plates and tried to buy some but none of my credit cards worked and the PIN you had to enter was 27 digits long.  The shop assistant could only communicate through singing and her name was Imogen Malmesbury.

I was only allowed to leave the shop if I sucked paint through a straw.

Thursday, 21 April 2011


My dream last night was that I entered a game show where to win, I had to make the right choices in different scenarios.  

The first test was that I was in a large waiting room jam packed with people and not enough seats.  I had a comfortable seat myself but an old lady came in saying she was dying and that she needed me to examine her; I had to choose whether to stay put and let her risk waiting for a doctor or clear people off the bench seats, lie her down and examine her.  I chose to examine her.  

She showed me various unpleasant bits of her body (she was also very smelly) then told me I had failed so it was into another room for test two.

The second test was a living room with rabbits and gerbils running around pooing everywhere.  After about 20 seconds their poo turned into crunchy nut cornflakes and I had to decide whether to risk treading on the animals to get it all cleared up before it became cornflakes, or leave it as it was.  I decided to try to carefully clean it up so I walked by sliding my feet so I didn't tread on any of the animals but I wasn't quick enough and the whole room was full of rampaging rabbits, gerbils and cornflakes so I failed.

I went in through a door to the third test which was a room with four people sat around in a circle on plain basic chairs with no table in the middle (although it looked like there should have been one).  They were clearly waiting for me and I took my seat in an empty chair.

The test was that they drew names out of a hat and the first two to be drawn had to go off together and work out what they should be doing in a room, then go back and report to the others and see if they were right!

I got drawn along with this bloke (no idea who he was) and we went off into a room where I decided that I had to be the dirtiest most depraved wanton slut he had ever experienced so I did anything and everything he wanted me to in order to satisfy his lust.  At the end of it there were ripped clothes, used sex toys and spatters of blood and bodily fluids everywhere.

We went back to the group where one woman called Ann told me that I had failed so badly I would be ejected from the planet as I had shocked her to the core and put her off pears for life.

The next door I went through just led to the sky where I was pulled by an invisible force towards the sun in a dizzying frightening falling feeling until I woke up.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Ice Cream in bed...

I had gone to some sort of meeting  - I think it was for people who had met online who wanted to all get together - like a tweet up (Twitter).

One person (M) and myself were in a bed together in the corner, just sat there eating multi coloured ice cream, while everyone else milled about with drinks totally ignoring the fact that we were doing this.  

Now this may not be the most interesting of dreams but the company was good (and so was the ice cream)! ;-)

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Bit of a sexual theme this time....

I was using the software GarageBand but to create a sexual experience rather than a piece of music. There were layers of sensation and stimulation to create so I had to keep sneaking off to find a private space to 'record' bits, but I was followed everywhere so was constantly moving on from room to room and hiding.

I seemed to have many sex toys but most were broken, deformed or covered in black fluff. Eventually I got it finished and it was so good the government declared it the national anthem orgasm.

In a separate part of the dream I was in a fairground and a man was in one half of a two person extreme swing. He needed a partner. There was quite an audience and they all thought I was the exact right size to balance him. They said I could go on for free so I did.

The swing got higher and higher and ended up breaking free and swooping through the clouds. It landed in a cave garage and I was taken off to be the man's sex slave.

Monday, 18 April 2011

An emotional dream....and not in a good way

I was in a dodgy not particularly salubrious hotel in Liverpool and I had to share a room.....and a double bed...with three others, one of whom was a well known female sports presenter!  She was obsessed with pornography and had loads of well thumbed books wrapped up with elastic bands which she wanted the rest of us to look at.  One of the other two was a plumber but I have no idea about the final one.

The plan was definitely some sort of orgy later that night!

I didn't seem too worried about this prospect but I know what I really wanted was for my husband to let me join him in his room.

He, however, was very cool towards me and when I saw him passing he didn't even give me a glance.  I asked him if I could join him and he just shrugged and said he wasn't that keen at the moment so would leave me where I was.

This broke my heart and I had to stay with the others as we all looked at these scruffy battered books of pornography!  

The dream didn't go as far as the actual orgy but overall it was an emotional dream rather than one of surreal and bizarre events.  It left me feeling unwanted, unloved and rejected.  Not nice! :-(

Sunday, 17 April 2011

One of my weirder ones...

I'd gone to visit a friend (R); he lived in a first floor flat but the ground floor hadn't been built yet nor had the rooms been attached to each other or lined up with each other (or anything else) :-/. Some rooms didn't have gravity and some of them had been built using the scale of the wrong planet.

To get between rooms there was a complex system of pulleys, ropes, irons and coloured cardigans.

He had no seats except ironing boards and they would collapse unless you were hugging. While we were hugging he told me he loved me (!!) and from then on I knew I couldn't speak or he'd be disappointed in me. He made me tea but it turned out to be a cat and escaped.

Instead I tried to leave but the way out had moved and the rooms changed into someone else's memories. Each room I went to gave me a specific memory of someone I knew usually connected to Christmas.

I eventually got out by working out I needed to combine a teal cardigan with an Argos catalogue and the smell of orange peel.

Saturday, 16 April 2011

A trilogy...

Well a dream in three parts at least, with no obvious connection between them.  I am not even sure in what order I dreamt them!

One part was where I was sat in a room with maybe half a dozen others and a particular person (M) came in.  He walked around looking slowly at each person in turn.  When he looked at me he gave me a knowing smile and I felt special, but then I noticed that he did the same to each of the others too and I had a sense of feeling deflated and disappointed.  I also noticed that his eyes were bright red and glowing.

Another part was where I was still living with my parents (I am in my 40s so this is not good), and wherever I went in the house, one of them was there lurking and preventing me from having any privacy. My phone kept buzzing with texts or emails and every time it did they complained about the noise and also about how annoying it was I was always looking at my phone.  I got really angry and threw my phone at them which then exploded. :-/

The final part was where I was in a small toilet somewhere and I noticed an odd looking spider.  It was really fat and completely transparent.  It was right by my foot so I nudged it with my toe to make it run away but instead it ran towards me.  I stood up and then realised that the pattern on the floor was not a pattern, but lots of different sized fat, see-through spiders!

I moved my foot and they all jumped in the air, many of them landing on me.  I couldn't see them properly so I was frantically batting myself down trying to get them off.  I then saw a nest (like a bird's nest) in the corner upon which was perched the Queen of these spiders.  Absolutely huge, fat and again transparent.  She visibly turned to look right at me then all the others did the same.  I opened the door and ran and they all chased me down the hall!

Friday, 15 April 2011

1987 was a punishing year...

So last night I dreamt I was being punished for eating too many round items. The punishment was to be sent to 1987, specifically a large building in the suburbs of Worcester which was both Kays Catalogue and Tandy Electricals.

No matter which door you left by, you ended up also entering the building by another. All the windows had helper skelter chutes which led you to the canteen so that's where I went.

In the canteen there were some odd 'people'. A man who you had to tell about your children even if you didn't have any, a woman who worked as a clothes horse on Sundays and a pool of melted butter that was training for the London marathon.

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Jumping house numbers and porcelain faces...

So here is my first entry :)  My dream from last night.........and as I went to bed well after midnight I know I dreamt this in the early hours of this morning.

I was tucked up in bed, but the bed was outside in the middle of a field.  There were three people present, two friends (male) and the newly acquired girlfriend of one of them.  I chatted to the two friends but whenever I looked towards the woman, she disappeared, like a faint star that you can only see out of the corner of your eye, but disappears if you look straight at it.

We all had to leave then and at last she came over; I could see her now and I noticed that her face was made of porcelain.  She spoke to me but neither her lips, nor any part of her face moved as she did so.  I felt an enormous urge to hug her and apologise for not speaking to her earlier, so I did.  A most heartfelt hug.

Then we were all walking around the streets of some town, where we urgently had to find number 107 in a row of terraced houses that gently bent around, making a complete circle that was designed to look square!

The numbers on the houses were not only not in any order whatsoever, but every few minutes the numbers would ease themselves off the doors, sprout little wings and gleefully fly off, mixing themselves up completely and landing on a completely different door.

This made the task of finding number 107 impossible and when I turned to speak to my friends I noticed that all three of them now had porcelain faces.  At the same time I noticed that I had no skirt, trousers or shoes on, so I decided that the best thing to do was to go in to number 49 and have a bath.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

In the past...

I have had so many dreams already.  They are sometimes scary, sometimes joyous, sometimes a real adventure but always surreal and downright weird.  They are also copious! 

I would be here far too long trying to catch up so I will just start from the very next dream I have...