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Saturday, 29 October 2011

Asda or Narnia?

It's been a while (again!), I know but I just feel the need to share this one. It's lurking in my brain ;-)

I was with a friend and we needed to get some shopping but she was scared to go in the Asda I took her to as she thought it would be full of 'unsavoury people'!

I told her that all shops were closing in 17 minutes so there was simply no time to prevaricate!

She kept stopping people to ask them if someone could be chavvy and gentle at the same time?  Everyone she asked just looked confused so I just said 'look....I'd shop there in the dark with two murderers on the come on!!'

So we headed for the entrance but the security man was just locking up. It was ten minutes to closing time. I persuaded him to let us in though and he did. 

Once in, it turns out that the interior of the shop was a cross between narnia, a skating rink and the most beautiful architecture. 

The inside of the building was made up of the outside face of many wonderful distinctive and historic white buildings.  The ceiling was a breathtaking jumble of coloured and golden gleaming domes. 

The floor was a carpet of snow, covering hills and slopes but you could ice skate on it round and round the main circular route. As you skated, in the middle of the circle you would pass old hollow tree stumps and little caverns. These were the 'shelves' where the groceries were kept. 

As you whizzed around (with hand made, multi level, oak trollies), you grabbed the groceries. If you needed to ask where something was, a member of staff would sense it and pop up at just the right time. 

I remember asking for weetabix crunchy bran and BBQ beans! Hopefully not to eat together! ;-)

There were some annoying 'realistic' aspects to the dream.  A small child having a tantrum lying in everyone's way that we all had to jump over, being out of stock on my favourite things and an annoying woman that took everything off my trolley and ate my pork and apple bap because she 'thought I'd finished with it'!  Ok.....not sure that last bit was totally realistic ;-)

It was a race to the checkout caves where a mystery operative scanned my groceries in the dark (I seem to have lost the friend by now)! 

I was asked to guess the price and I correctly guessed 29 urkles and 14 shells!  My prize was a cloak and a key. I was given this by a mystery man who grabbed my hand as he handed them to me. He was shaking. He whispered in my ear..... 'soon' and I noticed his breath smelt of almonds. 

As I left I looked back and it was a regular Asda with glass frontage and the lights being switched off one by one. It started to rain so I hurried to pack up the shopping. The last thing I put in the car was the cloak and the key and I really felt so desperate to find out what they were for. 

I started the car and drove off. The radio came on. It was like the presenters were talking in usual tones as if they were speaking quite normally but every single word was 'soon'. This freaked me out so I switched channels.  The same!  I turned it off but it carried on!!

I panicked and crashed the car into a wall but I ended up the other side of it in a world where everyone wore cloaks and carried a key round their necks. 

And all I can remember!! :-/