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Wednesday 29 June 2011

Queen Granny and the tampon kicking method of dealing with bullies....

Paul and I were living in a slightly squalid bedsit. We hadn't long moved in  and there were takeaway boxes, drugs paraphernalia and copies of the financial times everywhere. 

There was a lot of noise outside as four young lads were chatting with the car doors open and had pounding music on very loud.  

I offered them a dozen eggs and a jam tart each and they drove off in a flashy white car. 

We started to tidy up because family members who were both there and not there at the same time, were telling us that my great granny and her male companion were coming. It was as though she was royalty. 

We had to iron the newspaper and get it just so. We also had to remove any pages that we thought might upset her so we hid page three in the airing cupboard. 

We checked supplies and noticed there wasn't much tea and coffee. The tea bags however were huge; as big as a dinner plate...so we shared a bag between us. 

Great granny arrived and all the family were definitely there then. Everyone else got a seat but I was told I'd have to perch on a storage heater. 

We all ended up talking about my dreams which were all in a box in the middle of the room. Each one was looked at and discussed in turn and I noticed that most of them were transparent. 

Then the room changed and turned into a bedroom that was in an office block in Cardiff (Paul's old office from the early 90s).

There were a few of us in there. All girls. We all seemed to be getting ready and chatting and getting on really well. It was nice. But then a girl I used to be friends with (Sue) arrived. 

She walked in and everyone else seemed scared of her. I noticed for the first time that everyone was naked and there were multicoloured tampons all over the floor. 

She spoke in a sneering bullying tone and everyone else looked subdued and nervous. They all looked at me and I could tell that they thought I was scared too, as I was quiet. 

I looked out of the window and realised she was speaking to me and getting cross because I was ignoring her.  Everyone in the room looked really tense. 

I just tutted, kicked a blue tampon at her and told her to shut up. Everyone gasped and she ran off crying. I felt quite bewildered by this but then realised we were all now ready to go out so I picked up my bag and we all left despite the fact no one actually had any clothes on.  

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