A simple dream of elusive toilets, crash helmets and the dead coming back to life!

In the first part of the dream I was looking at a photo of Cardiff City Hall. 

It looked like a regular photo to start with, but if you zoomed in to the entrance you could actually see beyond what was on the photo and could see inside in remarkable detail, including an amazing decorated ceiling that isn't actually there. 

I entered City Hall through the photograph and was inside it walking around. It was very busy and there was some sort of concert being held there. 

I desperately needed the loo and I started to search for one but everywhere I went there were long queues. 

I knew I had an advantage over most there, because I'd worked in City Hall for years, knew my way around and still had my swipe card to get to the staff only areas. 

Despite this I seemed unable to find any loos that weren't swamped with crowds.  My need for the loo got more desperate and I started to run.  Faster and faster I ran round the whole building, but I could never find a loo. 

I found that if I sat on a bannister and  slid down it at speed, I got wifi on my phone. I remember thinking it was a bit useless though, as how could I type and slide at the same time? 

I kept seeing people I knew, but I tried to avoid them. I was running round faster and faster and more desperate for the loo all the time. 

I ended up outside in an unfamiliar place. It was run down and seemed to be the back streets of somewhere. 

Still I was looking for a loo and still I was constantly frustrated by one problem or another. 

I ended up sitting in the middle of the street on top of a drain, trying to use it as a loo and look innocent to anyone passing by!

In the next dream Paul and I were living in a dormer bungalow somewhere and his father had come back to life after being dead over ten years. 

He was most put out that we had sold his house and declared that he would live with us but that it would be his house rules. 

The first problem this gave us was that we no longer had space to both work from home. 

We both set off to travel into work, but then I realised I wasn't dressed so we decided I'd better stay at home. 

I gave my husband a hug and a kiss goodbye but he wasn't my husband any more. He'd turned into his dad. 

I pretended I knew that and that I'd meant to hug him; his dad thanked me and said he was off out and wished me good day. 

I went back in to find myself in someone else's kitchen wearing nothing but a motorbike helmet. 

I sat down and instantly fell asleep but was also aware of what was going on. 

A mystery woman was making food for me and two others. She was frying salad and making it into sandcastle shapes and slicing it. 

I knew I wouldn't like it and I was trying to work out the nicest way to tell her without upsetting her, (I hate upsetting anyone)!  In the end she decided I couldn't eat it anyway as my crash helmet was in the way. 

A few people put me in a bed and were talking about my crash helmet. A female colleague, also naked apart from a crash helmet, got in behind me and started to cwtch (hug) me. 

As she did this our crash helmets banged together and everyone else in the room remarked on how sweet it was!

Discombobulation...

Oh dear another marathon dreaming session!

Right then....it all started with me driving my friend Jules in my Austin Mini.  We were lost somewhere in the West Country, trying to find Bath.  I would be driving along on a normal road and the surroundings would suddenly dissolve around me and turn into a place that was all isolated and weed infested and looked like a disused airfield.

In the end, I remembered that I had an app on my phone which allowed me to locate other Mini drivers to ask directions.  Following directions from the app, I found a street which was solely occupied by Mini drivers (the old classic Minis) and they were the only cars parked there...there were dozens of them.  I realised that I actually was in Bath anyway so I just parked next to them.

We went to a pub and while I was at the bar a man was chatting my friend up.  He kept looking at me and called me her guard dog! I made a mental note to get annoyed with him later on, then went to order my drink, only to realise that the barman was Gwyn, except he had a rainbow instead of a face!

He asked me if I wanted some drugs.  I didn't think I did, but I said yes because I thought it would make me look cool(!)

The next thing I remember, I was sat on the floor attached to Gwyn's leg.  I was also aware that I would be having sex with him later on and that also there was some sort of orgy arranged which I was being paid £45 for!

I looked up at him and he still had a rainbow for a face.  I tried to stand up but I was completely attached to his leg.  

I noticed that there were lots of women dancing and as they danced they were taking their clothes off.  Unfortunately for the men there, they were not fit young women, but very elderly women.  It was much more like a disco at an OAP naturist gathering, than anything remotely erotic.

That dream seems to end there and in a separate dream, I was queuing up to go to weight-watchers in a shed, in a car park somewhere and there was also a queue for slimming world.  I kept swapping queues and I got all confused and upset and didn't know what to do, so I ran away and ended up walking down a never ending road in a desert.  There was a child there who kept telling me to ask it (don't know if it was a girl or a boy) questions to test it for a quiz or an exam.

I was getting annoyed that I couldn't think of enough questions and just wanted to be left alone really, so I picked up a rock and found 1972 under it.  I jumped in and went to Pearce's shop, to ask for tinza beer.  I was clutching a sixpence in my hand and it made me happy.

Is it just me or are they getting weirder?!

If you are short on time.....

...I wouldn't bother with this one.  It is going to be a long one.  A long post that is.  There are many dreams...including one which isn't actually mine!

So to start at the traditional place.  Dream one was very short and the most realistic dream ever.  I dreamt I was lying in bed texting Gwyn.  I woke up and spent five minutes panicking trying to find my phone in the bed before realising it was on the side charging and it had only been a dream!

Then in dream two, I was in a Church Hall where a vicar had arranged sandwiches for after choir practice and wanted me to cut the cheese.  There wasn't enough so I went to buy some more but the vicar said he wasn't giving me any fucking money.  I thought this a tad un-christian but said I would buy the cheese.  When I returned, I noticed the sandwiches had the tiniest amount of cheap margarine on and were made out of horrible thin rubbery bread, which had also gone stale.

I tried to make them the best I could but he was just obsessed with what it was costing him.  

Also for all the people at choir practice, was a box of blank christmas cards - for some reason they all had to have one each.  I noticed that some of them weren't blank but were used cards from many years ago.  One of them was for TizBanana!  One had a note written by my mother in 1987 saying 'for Dad' but it was never sent as her Dad died in November that year.

I managed to get a few blank ones out of it and shook my head at yet again another example of how tight this vicar was!  

Dream three saw me in London; we were in a multi storey car park driving a van and it was rush hour.  We couldn't believe how stupid we were to be in London at that time and we were totally lost.  Even the car park was huge and had various junctions, traffic lights and roundabouts.  We kept guessing the route and were just trapped in the car park going round and round.  I tried to use satnav but for some reason I just couldn't use it.  I kept meaning to but it never happened - I can't explain it beyond that!

I decided I may as well get out and do some shopping while Paul was driving around, so I did.  Everything on sale was an everyday item but made out of wicker. I remember thinking that the stuff on sale would not have been sold anywhere else except London.

Everywhere I went, people were trying to persuade me to eat and drink things that I shouldn't but I was very good and kept saying no which made me feel a bit better.

Dream number four saw me naked (you just knew it had to happen at some point, didn't you? ;-) in my house, which of course wasn't like my house at all!  I was just about to go outside when I noticed three young lads messing about on a bike out the back (where they shouldn't have been).  I shouted at them to go away or I would call the police but they wouldn't go so I sent Paul off to get the gun (we haven't actually got one)!

Another gang came around the corner on motorbikes waving and boasting that they had the keys to our house.  More and more appeared - it was chaos and we were overrun.

I walked up a non existent weir to phone the police.  I dialled 999 and got a recorded message saying 'for emergencies, phone the Mayor's office in Merthyr'!  I eventually spoke to someone who said that someone had already reported this crime and by reporting it twice I had cancelled it out!

We went back to the house and on the way we passed a house that was still in the 1980s.  My mother was just leaving.  She was the same age that I am now and she was saying goodbye to her parents.  It made me cry to see my grandparents again and to realise how quickly time had passed.

When back in the house people kept knocking the door but it was never the police.  Firstly it was the RAC, then a vet, then a florist.  We let them all in as it turns out other people had been living in our house that we hadn't noticed!  I was panicking that the house was a mess and at all the people now in it.  This, along with gangs of motorcycling youths driving around with our possessions outside resulted in the strongest feeling of chaos and being out of control I have ever had!

Dream five was very short.  I looked at my phone and saw an email had arrived that I had been waiting for...... at least I thought it was the email I was waiting for.  I only saw it for a nanosecond before my husband took the phone off me messing about, fumbled, pressed something and deleted about 10 emails.

I took it back and no matter what I did I could not locate the email so I was never sure whether it had been that email or not.

That's me done BUT... my husband told me his dream and as a one off, two for the price of one deal I am going to share it here.

He was at a 'Turkey Quiz' with Joe Calzaghe and my friend Joanne.  You had to eat a strip of turkey as you arrived.  He argued with Joe Calzaghe about how old Frank Bruno was (who also turned up at the quiz).

Joe Calzaghe's question was...'Which athlete 108, 108, 106, 96, Cardiff City?'

The answer of course was Christian Malcolm!  (?!)

My husband was also aware there was a snooker match in the next room and he kept getting told off for making a noise as he was watching a live stream of 'management voting at Fairwater Conservative Club'!

His questions were meant to be on snooker but they never were so he answered 'Steve James' to every one and it was always wrong.  He also had to test my friend's boobs to make sure they were real (a likely story)!

There was always a bit with a Jag with a camera in the boot which had a tape measure attached which could not do any measuring and the camera stopped working near experts.  He also got in trouble for eating all the turkey!

So.......all in all lots of dreaming in this house last night! ;-)  

Usual madness with a hint of celebrity...

I was attending a weight watchers meeting and noticed that the person doing the weighing was Bill Oddie.  I was slightly surprised at this but not enough to ask anyone why he was there.  

When it was my turn to be weighed, the carpet started to bubble and wherever he put the scales there was a lump under it so it wouldn't sit flat.  He told me to get on anyway so I did and according to the scales I had lost 11 stone in a week.

He accepted this and wrote it down on my book without comment, but I objected saying that if he just looked at me he could see that I wasn't 11 stone lighter and it was clearly the bumpy carpet distorting the reading.

He wouldn't accept it and insisted I had lost 11 stone in a week.  When I tried to argue, he held his hand up in front of my face and started whistling so he didn't hear me.  I gave up and walked out.

The dream then became one where I was observing things going on without being directly involved.

Hugh Grant was leaving his flat but the door had been broken and it wouldn't lock properly.  He would fiddle with it and slam it shut, give it a gentle push and it appeared to be locked, but a harder push and it burst open.

He was clearly needing to get somewhere and was running late but was worried about leaving the flat too.  In the end he slammed it and ran off hoping for the best.

It was obvious that it was a little while later, when I observed him arriving in a posh office building in London.  I then became aware that I was Denise Welch watching from a walkway on the next floor up.

In the dream I felt really sorry for Hugh Grant and wanted to help so (still as Denise Welch), I headed off to his flat to fix his door.  I had no clothes on (oh for goodness sake... I am even naked when I am someone else!) and only had a blanket to wrap around myself.

I was suddenly at the flat, in fact I was inside it and I found a full pint of beer sitting on the side.  I picked it up to sniff it when someone shouted at me not to touch it as it was evidence.  I looked up to see Columbo in the kitchen snooping about.

He asked me why there was a full pint left and what could possibly have made anyone leave a full pint just sitting there.  I shrugged and he said he thought it might have poison in it.

I shrugged again and he made some notes in a small notebook.

There was a knock at the door and a man (unknown) walked in with a load of electric fans saying that this would help with the door problem.  I remember having a warm feeling at how nice it was that people all wanted to help.  I remembered the broken door and pulled a large cheese grater from inside the blanket that was still wrapped around me.

I used this to sand the door down, then whipped out a keyring with lots of cutlery attached to it.  I somehow used this most expertly and the door was not only fixed but had changed colour from a pinky lilac to deep blue and was now a lot shinier and smarter.

I went in and ran around to chase out anyone that was left inside, before locking the door and sweeping off.  I felt the blanket trailing behind me and felt that it somehow looked good!  This along with the satisfaction of fixing the door made me in a very good mood. 

I think this is reflective of last night's genuine good mood :-D  x

Queen Granny and the tampon kicking method of dealing with bullies....

Paul and I were living in a slightly squalid bedsit. We hadn't long moved in  and there were takeaway boxes, drugs paraphernalia and copies of the financial times everywhere. 

There was a lot of noise outside as four young lads were chatting with the car doors open and had pounding music on very loud.  

I offered them a dozen eggs and a jam tart each and they drove off in a flashy white car. 

We started to tidy up because family members who were both there and not there at the same time, were telling us that my great granny and her male companion were coming. It was as though she was royalty. 

We had to iron the newspaper and get it just so. We also had to remove any pages that we thought might upset her so we hid page three in the airing cupboard. 

We checked supplies and noticed there wasn't much tea and coffee. The tea bags however were huge; as big as a dinner plate...so we shared a bag between us. 

Great granny arrived and all the family were definitely there then. Everyone else got a seat but I was told I'd have to perch on a storage heater. 

We all ended up talking about my dreams which were all in a box in the middle of the room. Each one was looked at and discussed in turn and I noticed that most of them were transparent. 

Then the room changed and turned into a bedroom that was in an office block in Cardiff (Paul's old office from the early 90s).

There were a few of us in there. All girls. We all seemed to be getting ready and chatting and getting on really well. It was nice. But then a girl I used to be friends with (Sue) arrived. 

She walked in and everyone else seemed scared of her. I noticed for the first time that everyone was naked and there were multicoloured tampons all over the floor. 

She spoke in a sneering bullying tone and everyone else looked subdued and nervous. They all looked at me and I could tell that they thought I was scared too, as I was quiet. 

I looked out of the window and realised she was speaking to me and getting cross because I was ignoring her.  Everyone in the room looked really tense. 

I just tutted, kicked a blue tampon at her and told her to shut up. Everyone gasped and she ran off crying. I felt quite bewildered by this but then realised we were all now ready to go out so I picked up my bag and we all left despite the fact no one actually had any clothes on.  

Exhausting...

I was in Pontypool trying to find Gwyn’s flat.  I kept seeing vans with his name and his logo on it and trying to follow them, but other cars got in the way or I ended up turning the wrong way on a one way street causing cars to slam on their brakes and beep at me angrily.

I was then in Gwyn’s flat and he wasn’t there, but I was making him a meal.  For some reason I made him a meal of rice, mashed potato, scrambled egg and beans....all stone cold!  He arrived home and wouldn’t let me heat it up but insisted on eating it cold so I ate mine cold too.  It was horrible!

Then suddenly I was in London trying to fit too much into a day, I had attended a course but wanted to meet up with a friend (M) for a drink and to hide with him in a pub box (?!) which he had hired, so I  tried to alter my ticket so I could go on a later train, but they wouldn’t let me change it and by the time I had queued up and been told this, my original train was leaving and I missed it.  I was aware that it was already 6pm and that I was going to be late for Welsh class.

I was in a room then and was playing a strange game with M and other unidentified people.  It involved slotting a contraption together and transferring ash through weird shaped holes without spilling it!

I was then walking up the road to see Gwyn (again! Sorry Gwyn) who in the dream lived just up the road.  While walking up I saw a blue mini (old classic one) squeeze through an impossibly tight space by sucking its sides it!  I remember thinking that I hoped mine could do that.  I went into Gwyn’s house and somehow ended up behind his house, naked, on a railway track with my mini parked right on the track.

Other people had managed to climb up, back into the house but I really couldn’t manage to hoist myself up no matter how many people tried to help me.  I also said that having to climb over a piano and into a small high window really wasn’t helping.  A German woman living in the house (not a redhead sorry ;-) said that I had a point, because being German she knew how to polish tables properly and I was likely to slip on it!!

I suddenly realised I could walk around anyway and ended up in a small loo trying to find clothes to put on.  All I could find was a yellow suspender belt which was tiny, but as you pulled it, a load of poppers undid and it got to any size you wanted so I made it into a suspender dress and put it on.

I walked into the house pulling my mini in behind me and sat at a table which was far too close to another table and I ended up fighting with the people on the next table while someone was trying to sell me a kitchen.

I picked up a glass which I knew was filled with the poison they give you at the Dignitas clinic and I decided I wanted to taste it, but as I didn’t want to die or get ill, I just sipped it, then spat it down the sink.  It was a very very strong taste and I tried to find something to drink or eat to get rid of the taste, but everything I tasted didn’t taste like it should anymore.  So tea tasted of lemons and cake tasted of sprouts etc and it was all very confusing and disconcerting.

I decided to go out in the mini for a drive and a man that had been there all along started to ask questions about my phone.  He said he had a blackberry and could track me wherever I went.

I drove off into the countryside but somehow still managed to speak to him while I was in the car and he stayed in the house  (it wasn’t over the phone).  I was aware he was tracking me so I tried to confuse him by saying I was going one way then going another but he knew not only where I was but exactly what I could see.

He told me that he now owned me and that I was under his control but I just kept on driving hoping I could escape. 

Water? Oh and a lack of clothing...again!

I was in work, but as ever, it was nothing like my actual office; it was a cross between an office building, a school and a library.  

I needed the photocopier and as I went up towards it, I noticed that the door had been left open and the part that fills with water was overly full and leaking.  In my dream, the photocopier was actually a tumble drier.

I was trying to take the bit out to empty the water but it was jammed and the more I yanked at it the more water sloshed everywhere making a right mess.  I decided to go to find another and walked into an empty area of the office and sat down leaning against a wall.

A bloke appeared round the corner looking for someone and he was very shocked to see such an empty space and wondered if he was in the right place.  I said I would show him round to where they were all sitting and I became aware that all I had on was a pink silk waist slip which was pulled up over my boobs.

The bloke commented on my lack of clothes and I explained that it was perfectly normal for me and sometimes I wore no clothes at all as the office got so hot.  He laughed and asked if he could see me later on.  He was clearly joking and I joked back that I would meet him outside after work.

I noticed that I had a broken gum shield in my hand so I decided to go to main reception to report it.  I found my way to the main reception but then noticed that the building had completely changed so I was unable to find my way back and decided to go home.

My husband was waiting outside in the car to take me to view a house.  Despite being in a car we walked to it.

It was a tiny ramshackle run down stone cottage and we had a huge key to get in.  There was an estate agent who kept standing in front of things that were particularly bad but in the end he went and left us to it.

I noticed that there were lots of holes in the roof and that water was pouring in like a waterfall.  As we stood watching the water filling the house, we could see the walls giving way and the floor being eroded.  Despite this we stood there and discussed buying it!

In the end however we decided against it as it was just a bit too much work for us, so I went back to work where the bloke was waiting for me wearing my pink slip and I looked down and noticed my clothes had been washed off and I was naked.  I felt slightly uncomfortable (!!!!!!) about this so decided to stick leaves to myself which stayed on because I was so wet!