Definitely two distinct dreams last night.
Dream One - A bloody end in Paris
The first one was quite short but rather violent and bloody. Leslie Grantham was climbing on a very odd piece of machinery in the centre of Paris which is very hard to describe....
It was completely made of metal. It was oval in shape and the oval sat on two metal tripods, each of which were 100 foot tall. The oval itself had lots of sharp spikes on it - blades really and an inner metal oval that went round and round within the other slightly larger oval.
Leslie Grantham was stood on the lower oval trying to keep his balance and not fall off or injure himself on the blades. He kept falling over and I had a sense of tension and fear as the person observing / dreaming.
I somehow knew that he wanted to stay alive long enough to see his daughter. He fell over and his fingers got into the wrong place and were cut off. He screamed and I could see his fingers left behind and his fingerless hand spewing blood everywhere. He was clearly shocked and fell again - this time his elbow was sliced off and he finally lost his balance and fell hurtling towards the ground.
I became aware of his daughter and her friend who had just left a cafe and had arrived just in time to see. He saw her and I was somehow aware that he was saying sorry to her. He then splatted on the ground and there was blood and organs and pieces of bone everywhere. I am sure it was much more messy than it would have been in real life.
Then I woke up in the early hours of the morning. Now I haven’t heard about or thought of Leslie Grantham for years so I have no idea where all this came from. Anyway - back to bed and back to sleep and this time a much nicer.....and longer dream. If you are reading this Gwyn, don’t go yet as you are in the next bit (although so is someone you don’t like very much)!
Dream Two - Time Travelling, teeth and bees
This dream started out in a cafeteria. I had a prawn and avocado baguette which I didn’t like (nor do I in real life). I kept looking at it not sure on what to do as I didn’t know whose fault it was that I had it in the first place.
The two people the other side of a little bar type thing also evidently had baguettes they didn’t like and decided to burst into a musical style song and dance about it. They were dancing around the tables poking people with their baguettes and singing some irritating musical style song. When they came to me I thought the best thing to do was to give them my baguette too so they could deal with it. So I did.
I then followed them up to the preparation area where it turned out that Rob Brydon was the very cheery chef. The two dancing idiots disappeared at this point and Chef Rob was talking to me. He said he had all sorts of lovely things in his kitchen and what could he get for me. I was just choosing from a wonderful array of breads and cakes, when he suddenly realised I was his son’s girlfriend and took me by the arm to take me ‘home’.
I have no idea how, but I was aware that we were traveling through time and had ended up back in the 1980s. He took me in to a typical valleys terraced house. As we went in he pointed out the higgledy piggledy rows of terraced houses on the mountain opposite and told me that it was only in Wales that I would see houses like that.
I remember thinking that I felt annoyed that he was pointing this out to me as I was from a valleys town myself and knew things like that.
We went in and he took me to his son’s bedroom so I could wait for him. I threw myself onto the unmade bed and decided to have a squirm (you know when you wriggle and writhe around on a comfy bed?......No?.....maybe that’s just me then)! ;-)
I realised I needed to get ready - have a shower, clean my teeth, put on make up and do my hair etc. I went to the bathroom next-door and as I walked between the two rooms, Gwyn appeared with huge headphones on and grinned at me. I remember thinking - ‘oh so Rob Brydon is Gwyn’s Dad’! And suddenly lots of things made sense (?!)
The bathroom was avacado green and a bit scruffy and dirty looking and it was clear that many people lived in the house and used it.
I was in the bathroom and started to clean my teeth but I picked up the wrong toothbrush and it exploded, shooting the bristles out into my gums like arrows. It also seemed to squirt blue ink, staining my teeth. I picked up the right toothbrush and started to rectify things but I was too vicious with it and I loosened one of my teeth at the front.
I was just about to jump in the shower when someone knocked on the door and said that their daughter needed to use the potty, so could I come out for a while. I came out stark naked (here we go again). I didn’t seem bothered by this but was very concerned about my tooth. I wiggled it as I walked downstairs and just as I was announcing to the numerous people sat in the living room that it was loose, it snapped in half and then a few seconds later fell out completely.
I looked in a mirror and was dismayed to see that my teeth were now even worse than they were before with a gap there. I sighed.
At this point Rob Brydon said that Gwyn had stolen his mini and he was not at all happy about it so he thought it best that I leave the house. He wouldn’t allow me time to go and get dressed so I ran away and tried to hide in the porch, but I was too fat and he could still see me so I ran outside.
Gwyn was driving the mini and he had a few of his mates in there too - they were all (somehow) lying down on top of one another. I could see that the windscreen had gone and he drove at me at great speed telling me that I had to jump in horizontally through the windscreen while they were driving at me and we could all escape through time.
I jumped and landed perfectly and we drove off through time all singing very loud songs and getting drunk.
I woke up (in the dream) lying on a trestle table in the middle of a church hall alone, covered only with a dark red curtain. I was still naked. I suddenly realised that the church hall was full of thousands of bees all swarming around me and landing on me so I put the curtain over my head, wrapped it to cover as much of my body as I could and made a run for it. I remember bees landing on some very intimate places which believe me is not nice!
I ended up in a kitchen somewhere full of women in the WI. They sealed off their doors and windows as best they could but the odd bee was still getting in and one woman gave out kitchen implements for us to beat them off. I had a potato masher.
I swiped at the bess and kept hitting the same one but it just got angrier and also seemed to get bigger and develop a threatening look on its face so I got scared and tried to apologise to it for hitting it with a potato masher but it just kept coming after me. I then saw that some of the bees had turned into Daddy Long Legs (far more terrifying to me) so I really panicked and screamed (and then I woke up)!
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