Stuff..... ?

I was in some strange town somewhere and I had agreed to pose for someone to paint me (!)

Once there I took my clothes off (sigh) lounged on a settee then he actually painted me. I mean....he got a large paint brush and actually painted my skin all over in various colours. 

As I left still not sure whether to object or not and feeling slightly bemused, I realised I didn't know where I was. 

For some reason I started to walk with a large umbrella up even though it was warm and sunny with clear blue skies. 

An old work colleague (that doesn't like me) was sat in a very swanky car and pointed and laughed at me for having the umbrella. She kept shouting at me that I was stupid and seemed very full of hatred for me. 

I realised my mistake with the umbrella but carried on anyway hoping I'd get past the woman as soon as possible. 

The town became countryside as I walked along and I was aware that I was coming up to some sort of theme park on my left. 

I suddenly stopped; realising just in time that I was at a level crossing. The barriers weren't down and the lights weren't flashing but I wanted to check. 

The other side of the crossing and on the right was a car park with a waiting room. 

A man stood and shouted to me explaining that his car should have been washed yesterday but he'd only just noticed and found somewhere to park. 

A car salesman appeared with a clipboard trying to confirm the registration number with the first man, but he could only get as far as 'MS....' when the original man would put his hands over his ears and refuse to listen. 

I was about to cross the level crossing when I noticed a tractor coming. I was shocked that the barrier and lights hadn't worked but then thought maybe a tractor didn't count. 

I was about to cross again when I was almost hit by a speeding train. The barriers came down just after it had passed. 

I thought what a dangerous and useless crossing it was and was about to cross yet again when the man shouted that it turned into a motorway after 6pm and I'd have to wait until the next day to cross. 

I stood and resigned myself to a long wait. It started to rain and I noticed I no longer had the umbrella and all the paint on my skin was being washed off.