Myself and two friends were working as servants at a large mansion.
We weren't allowed to live with the other servants, but were living outside in the grounds, where they kept the coal. As a result of being excluded, the three of us were very close and I cared for them a great deal.
The owner of the mansion was the Queen but she was very ill. She had turned purple and gone all folded and all the stamps had had to be changed.
Foreign dignitaries kept visiting but they would all fall ill. It was on every news channel.
We however were more concerned with food.
The cooks made food for all the other servants but three of us were not allowed in. We stood at the window staring in at roast dinners being eaten, or worse....left half eaten.
The only food we were allowed was frozen potatoes. The other staff would throw them at us for fun.
I told my friends that I'd see if I could reason with one of the two head cooks and one day I actually got in and wandered in to their quarters only to realise one of them was my great aunt.
I thought I'd easily be able to reason with her. She was friendly and welcoming and very sympathetic. She went to get me a cup of tea but came back with a giant omelette which she threw over me.
When I got it off me I was in a different place and everyone else was there including my two friends who were congratulating each other and laughing at me.
I had a sudden panicky feeling of being set up and fooled and I realised my friends didn't really like me at all.
My great aunt told me I was being auctioned off as a slave. She showed me dozens of metal paint tins and told me they all had a different colour.
The final price they got for me would determine my duties as a slave. Not even the bidders knew the prices and duties but each band of prices had a corresponding colour and I would be painted that colour once the auction was over.
I had been dressed in a corset and a cape made of black bin bags and rope. It was uncomfortable.
Alan Sugar arrived. He was to be the auctioneer but he made an announcement first that he had invested all his money by hiding it in sheep in west Wales.
The tins were opened in readiness and I wondered what colour I'd end up as.
I didn't think anyone would bid and wondered what they'd do then and if they'd let me go.
The bidding however, started but it didn't go in order so lower bids were coming after higher bids.
Also, not all of the bids were in money. Someone bid a zoo car park and someone bid all the post boxes in side streets.
In the end one of my original 'friends' won the bidding with their bid of the letter 'e'.
I felt fully resigned to everything going on and the paint colour turned out to be burnt orange which was painted only on to my arms.
My 'friend' said he'd had pleasure enough already just fooling me for so long so he would donate me to the whole room. I felt very hurt and bewildered as to why I was so hated.
Everyone surged towards me cheering and started painting me every colour. Then they just got over excited and just threw the paint over me all shouting and laughing.
I woke up feeling horrible after this dream :-/ I deliberately haven't named the two friends.
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