Just plain mad!

I was visiting someone in an irritating bungalow. I'd parked both my mini and my washing machine outside.

While inside there was a lot of discussion about who ws sleeping in which bed and the fairest way to share blankets out. Somehow as a result of this conflab I lost a sock, but as I didn't wear socks I'd actually gained one.

I put it on to go outside where an excited woman showed me the view she almost had from a balcony. It was obliterated by a huge building opposite. While there she invited me to take as many tiles as I could so she held the wall apart while I took a tile from various places.

I had to leave then and I realised the washing machine wouldn't fit into the mini but the woman said she'd go and get it and put it in a bag for me. I told her it was too heavy but she frowned at me for being stupid.

We then saw a group of children stealing the washing machine and running off down the road with it. We ran after them and they ran into one of the houses so we banged on the door but they wouldn't let us in.

I said I'd call the police but first my phone wouldn't dial the right number and then when I got through I realised I couldn't remember where I was or pronounce any words. Despite this they sent me a photograph of a policeman and luckily this, along with a lie that the washing machine had sentimental value as it had belonged to my late Grandma, was enough to get them to give it back

When I looked inside I realised I'd left next Tuesday's weather in there and it had started to smell of bacon.