Uphill journey....

I was somewhere with my dad and sister.  It's a bit vague but my dad said it was time to go because of the snow. I only had slippers on and the soles were cracked but he said I'd have to manage as best I could. 

We set off uphill. I had a sense of it being Conway Road in Pontypool even though it wasn't anything like it. 

I was picking my way slowly though bits of ice on the road trying not to slip but I was distracted by my iPod which only played music if I held it near my face. 

My dad and sister were well in front now and as I looked at them in the distance I almost got hit by a car. 

It had swung round and stopped just in time. As I thanked him for stopping and letting me walk by, I noticed that he was made of liquorice. 

I carried on up the hill which had turned into brickfields road in Worcester.  I was surprised they didn't stop at our old house, but carried on walking. 

Suddenly my friend Julie was there. We were in the brickfields house. I was talking to her and at the same time texting my therapist!

We were talking about presents. As we spoke, a delivery was made of a bike stand. We both somehow knew this was ahead of the real present of a bike and was off my dad. 

Julie said 'there....you see?' as if it proved something. We then went on to talk about how many miles I'd be cycling. 

Then my therapist sent me a present over text. It was a cardboard box containing raw chicken and pineapple and coconut stock cubes in a fancy tin. 

Once again Julie said 'you see?'

She then said that if I didn't mind she'd like me to take her round to show her where my friends lived. I told her I didn't know where my therapist lived and the present in the box in front of me turned into white crockery. 

We then got talking about friends.  I said something along the lines of, some people I knew would have come to see me that weekend but couldn't and Julie tried to prove that it was the equivalent of her having loads of people coming to her party. 

It was as though Julie was trying to prove to me with every event and comment, that people did like me. 

I wasn't really sold on the logic of the argument! :-/

Then julie's parents arrived. We all started talking about the 'guardian of the meat' who had been the chef at her party. 

Apparently he was obsessed with meat, his two wives had left him and he was refusing to leave the village hall. 

Sure enough we were suddenly in the village hall and there he was at the other side of the room mumbling about meat, wives and phone calls!

I noticed an old fashioned dial phone next to him with the receiver off the hook.  Whenever someone replaced it, he'd take it off again. 

He was surrounded by round pieces of pork which were clearly going off and he was rocking and muttering away to himself. 

Um....and that's it really. Can't remember anything else :-/

If you are short on time.....

...I wouldn't bother with this one.  It is going to be a long one.  A long post that is.  There are many dreams...including one which isn't actually mine!

So to start at the traditional place.  Dream one was very short and the most realistic dream ever.  I dreamt I was lying in bed texting Gwyn.  I woke up and spent five minutes panicking trying to find my phone in the bed before realising it was on the side charging and it had only been a dream!

Then in dream two, I was in a Church Hall where a vicar had arranged sandwiches for after choir practice and wanted me to cut the cheese.  There wasn't enough so I went to buy some more but the vicar said he wasn't giving me any fucking money.  I thought this a tad un-christian but said I would buy the cheese.  When I returned, I noticed the sandwiches had the tiniest amount of cheap margarine on and were made out of horrible thin rubbery bread, which had also gone stale.

I tried to make them the best I could but he was just obsessed with what it was costing him.  

Also for all the people at choir practice, was a box of blank christmas cards - for some reason they all had to have one each.  I noticed that some of them weren't blank but were used cards from many years ago.  One of them was for TizBanana!  One had a note written by my mother in 1987 saying 'for Dad' but it was never sent as her Dad died in November that year.

I managed to get a few blank ones out of it and shook my head at yet again another example of how tight this vicar was!  

Dream three saw me in London; we were in a multi storey car park driving a van and it was rush hour.  We couldn't believe how stupid we were to be in London at that time and we were totally lost.  Even the car park was huge and had various junctions, traffic lights and roundabouts.  We kept guessing the route and were just trapped in the car park going round and round.  I tried to use satnav but for some reason I just couldn't use it.  I kept meaning to but it never happened - I can't explain it beyond that!

I decided I may as well get out and do some shopping while Paul was driving around, so I did.  Everything on sale was an everyday item but made out of wicker. I remember thinking that the stuff on sale would not have been sold anywhere else except London.

Everywhere I went, people were trying to persuade me to eat and drink things that I shouldn't but I was very good and kept saying no which made me feel a bit better.

Dream number four saw me naked (you just knew it had to happen at some point, didn't you? ;-) in my house, which of course wasn't like my house at all!  I was just about to go outside when I noticed three young lads messing about on a bike out the back (where they shouldn't have been).  I shouted at them to go away or I would call the police but they wouldn't go so I sent Paul off to get the gun (we haven't actually got one)!

Another gang came around the corner on motorbikes waving and boasting that they had the keys to our house.  More and more appeared - it was chaos and we were overrun.

I walked up a non existent weir to phone the police.  I dialled 999 and got a recorded message saying 'for emergencies, phone the Mayor's office in Merthyr'!  I eventually spoke to someone who said that someone had already reported this crime and by reporting it twice I had cancelled it out!

We went back to the house and on the way we passed a house that was still in the 1980s.  My mother was just leaving.  She was the same age that I am now and she was saying goodbye to her parents.  It made me cry to see my grandparents again and to realise how quickly time had passed.

When back in the house people kept knocking the door but it was never the police.  Firstly it was the RAC, then a vet, then a florist.  We let them all in as it turns out other people had been living in our house that we hadn't noticed!  I was panicking that the house was a mess and at all the people now in it.  This, along with gangs of motorcycling youths driving around with our possessions outside resulted in the strongest feeling of chaos and being out of control I have ever had!

Dream five was very short.  I looked at my phone and saw an email had arrived that I had been waiting for...... at least I thought it was the email I was waiting for.  I only saw it for a nanosecond before my husband took the phone off me messing about, fumbled, pressed something and deleted about 10 emails.

I took it back and no matter what I did I could not locate the email so I was never sure whether it had been that email or not.

That's me done BUT... my husband told me his dream and as a one off, two for the price of one deal I am going to share it here.

He was at a 'Turkey Quiz' with Joe Calzaghe and my friend Joanne.  You had to eat a strip of turkey as you arrived.  He argued with Joe Calzaghe about how old Frank Bruno was (who also turned up at the quiz).

Joe Calzaghe's question was...'Which athlete 108, 108, 106, 96, Cardiff City?'

The answer of course was Christian Malcolm!  (?!)

My husband was also aware there was a snooker match in the next room and he kept getting told off for making a noise as he was watching a live stream of 'management voting at Fairwater Conservative Club'!

His questions were meant to be on snooker but they never were so he answered 'Steve James' to every one and it was always wrong.  He also had to test my friend's boobs to make sure they were real (a likely story)!

There was always a bit with a Jag with a camera in the boot which had a tape measure attached which could not do any measuring and the camera stopped working near experts.  He also got in trouble for eating all the turkey!

So.......all in all lots of dreaming in this house last night! ;-)