An odd community...

The whole world had been taken over by David Cameron. He'd made everyone give up their jobs and live in a type of commune. 

Our jobs were now the housework and DIY required in the house. 

There were rules. 

We had to work all the time and if we had a nice thought about someone we had to write it down on a piece of cardboard that we carried around with us. 

The only way we were allowed to communicate was by commenting on each other's social network pages but it had to be a comment that we had noted on our bits of cardboard. 

We were also allowed to talk to underwear which had to have a special design on it and we all had a special place to spit. :-/

I asked David Cameron what jobs we would all do after and he said we wouldn't have any. 

We watched a news item where Miranda Hart had accidentally stretched too far and flashed a bit of herself she shouldn't have. 

There was a huge scandal and the clip was being shown over and over with a replica pair of knickers being passed round and discussed by the news team. 

The argument was whether she had shown pubic hair or whether what people saw was part of the design of the knickers!

My husband and I were tasked with shopping for the house so we left everyone watching the news and went to a shop that was a cross between Tesco in Fforestfach and Carrefore in Telford from 1978. 

We had a trolley each and discovered that if you lifted the back of the trolley up, the front wheels were very manoeuvrable and easily went round tight corners. If you lifted it a bit higher it would go up walls and if you lifted it right up it turned into a walking stick with a brake. 

Instead of shopping we had become distracted and were whizzing around playing with trolleys, going up walls and generally behaving like a pair of silly kids. 

That bit was quite fun. :-)

Life in a commune...

I was living in some sort of commune. There were loads of people living and working there. We were outside and I was aware of two sets of people having a heated argument. There were the cooks and the florists. For some reason they couldn't both work at the same time so an argument was going on about which was most important.

The cooks won and the florists stomped off in a right strop. They came over to shout at me even though I wasn't involved. It turns out it was somehow my fault because I had the wrong fridge magnet calendar open. I had 1997 instead of 2010.

I went inside where they were having a vote about whether to watch a random Columbo. I didn't care so I sat on the stairs and had half a wash but they called me back saying they needed a quorum to watch it.

It came on and it was a very recent one as he had White hair. I was therefore able to ask Columbo if he minded if I left the room and he said it was ok. This really irritated everyone and it made me happy that I'd found a way to break the rules.

I went to have the rest of my wash but the bathroom had been broken into pieces and I'd lost my clothes. I wandered round the house picking up clothes and pieces of bathroom and eventually got everything together and locked the door.

I was in the bath and it went massive, so I found I had to swim but I was tied to the plug (and can't swim) so I was shouting. Someone that I couldn't see threw me amaretti biscuits to use as floats.