Zap...

I was at some sort of appraisal which for some reason was taking place in a hospital waiting room.  The appraisal was being conducted by my boss plus another woman. 

As part of the appraisal I had to stand up and do an Anthea Redfern style twirl. I held out my skirt to make my outfit look more balanced. 

They both remarked on how it was a nice change to see me in a skirt which I thought was odd as I never wore trousers to work.  They said it hid the shape of my legs more. 

As I stood there however the skirt stuck to my legs more and more with static electricity. I explained I was a very staticky person and demonstrated by touching a metal bar and creating an electric shock. 

I then held my palms so that they were a few inches apart facing each other and visible electricity was flowing between my hands like mini forked lightning. 

I remember thinking that I could sell it to Doctor Who as a special effect. 

It then occurred to me that I could use it on someone else and sure enough it transpired that I could shoot electricity out of my hands!

I went to stand at the entrance of the hospital and amused myself by zapping random people. I then discovered that if I maintained the flow of electricity beyond a second or two, it had great force and by zapping the floor continuously it had enough force to lift me off the ground

In this way I discovered I could move around like a human hovercraft and proceeded to cause chaos zapping myself at great speed around the corridors of the hospital; knocking people over and creating mayhem. 

There was an announcement on the tannoy saying there was a reward for anyone that could stop me, so people started chasing me and trying to grab my legs but I just zapped them. 

I realised that I didn't feel guilty or worried about what I was doing and I felt invigorated and liberated. 

I ended up in the ladies loos and I was locked in so I stopped zapping.  A White duck was using its beak to shave a woman's legs and while I was distracted by this I was attacked with shaving foam and arrested. 

PS I have to confess I enjoyed this one.

ZAP!

Think before you buy!

I was in a shop in Cardiff that used to be a big department store (David Morgan). It was sad looking now. Mostly empty, with old discarded rails and broken shop dummies lying around. Everything was tatty, faded and dusty. 

In one part of the shop however, a family had set themselves up selling furniture and I was there looking around. I chose a purple three piece suite and I could tell they were delighted to make the sale.  

I somehow managed to get the furniture into a van and drive it home. When I got home I went into a house that in the dream I knew was my home but in reality it was nothing like it. 

I realised as soon as I went in that I already had a three piece suite and furthermore, purple clashed horribly with the decor of the room. 

There were lots of people living in the house I think they were all family. No one else seemed too bothered but when I realised how stupid I'd been I became inconsolable and was sobbing and apologising and chastising myself. 

My husband tried to comfort me and said the colours were fine and that we'd find room but I wanted to take them back. First of all I wanted someone else to sort it out but then I decided I had to do it. I was dreading it. 

I went back and explained. There were about 3 or 4 men there and they were fine about it. Somehow my old suite was now in their shop as part of a part exchange deal and was dismantled, so they said they'd put that back together, give me £185 part exchange and no harm done (?!)

The only woman there was giving me evil looks so I started an argument by asking what her problem was. She stormed over to me and threatened to go to the daily mail with the story of how I'd changed my mind so I was very sarcastic to her and she went away sulking. 

One of the men was hungry so I made him a bowl of cereals but he said I had strange milk and put the bowl into an airing cupboard. I noticed there was an old lady with an umbrella up in there.   

My old suite was now ready to go but I realised I didn't have transport so a friend (AMT) showed me her muscles and said she'd carry everything. All the same I rang my sister to borrow my dad's van. 

As I waited in an empty part of the shop, looking out on to open countryside, I noticed a chicken picking up engagement rings with its beak. The girl that I'd argued with was following to collect the rings. 

She saw that I'd witnessed her scam so offered me a duck with a fringe to buy my silence.