High speed chase, dodgy gifts and unusual dentists!

Well this one felt action packed!

It seemed to start straight away with a mad high speed chase...I am not sure if we were chasing OR being chased mind you, but something was making it necessary for us to be driving around at breakneck speeds.

We were in Cardiff and my husband was driving.  Straight off this becomes very unrealistic because I am the mad driver in the family! ;-) We were driving at such high speeds that he had NO control over the car at all, we were careering into people's gardens, hitting the walls of their houses, driving on pavements and scraping and banging the poor old car around something ridiculous!

Everything outside was just a blur as I held on for dear life, but for some reason my primary impression of the outside world was of large purple tubes!

There was also a tremendous thunderstorm going on, with really mad lightning and cracking thunder.  No rain though, which was weird (whereas everything else I dream is entirely sensible)! ;-D

Anyway it was bloody fantastic.  We were out of control, it was mad and dangerous and I loved it!  We ended up crashing into a police station in Splott (which is a real place by the way) and legging it down the road giggling the whole way!

I woke up then with a dead arm and turned over to have the following dream....

Someone called round to our house.  She looked like a Stepford wife and gave us a basket of fruit and potatoes from her garden and eggs from her hens.  We thanked her and came into the house thinking what a nice lady.  We noticed the potatoes had spikes which was a bit unusual (!) but didn't seem to think too much of it.

Then there was a loud banging on the door and a dishevelled looking woman burst her way into the kitchen shouting at us that the food was poisoned and that if we ate it we would turn into cats!

She said to be fair the eggs were probably OK but the fruit had been painted with cat DNA and wasn't safe to eat!

She looked around manically then ran out as quickly as she had appeared.  We stood there a bit nonplussed for a moment, commented on how ridiculous an idea it was, then put the fruit down anyway!

I felt silly, so said that I couldn't eat anything as I was just off to the dentist anyway.  

I got to the dentist by walking into the garden shed and the same manic woman was there telling other people about cat DNA and camels.  I tried not to catch her eye but she came over said she was glad I had obviously taken her advice and also told me she knew all about everything because she had been looking people's mothers up on Facebook (?!)

I was called in and the dentist asked me if I was doing my usual of not having anaesthetic - I said yes and he asked if I would take part in a trial.  I agreed and he started to work.  I could smell an unpleasant smell and put it down to the dentist having very bad breath.

Afterwards he explained that he had put tiny microscopic camels into the fillings of my teeth as new research showed that they would rebuild teeth from the inside.  I found this perfectly acceptable (!) so sat up to go, but suddenly thought my breasts felt odd.

I looked down and at the same time touched them and was horrified to see that they had turned into camels' humps and it was those that smelt so bad!  The dentist just said....'ah yes that can be one of the side effects..'!!

I was horrified and felt quite panicked by his attitude.  I asked if he could reverse it but he said no as I had agreed to the trial.

I ran out holding on to my humps and screaming about camels to everyone in the waiting room.  I saw the manic woman again and for the first time realised it was actually me!

I woke up after this dream a bit disturbed and the first thing I did was copped a good feel of my boobs....just to be sure!! ;-)

Sickness, Christmas, nudity and bondage medical equipment !?

Quick whinge first. TERRIBLE night's sleep. I now feel a bit sick, headachy and dizzy!  

Also it was AGES after I woke up before the dream came back to me this time. Brain lag!

Aaanyway...I dreamt I was living in this (my) house, but lots of things were different including its location and I was still living with my parents. 

It started with me running to the downstairs loo, not making it in time and being sick all over my clothes and the floor. (nice)!

I took all my clothes off but for some reason wandered off before cleaning up or getting dressed again. 

I was in a huge yard then and had to dash to work which was in a ditch somewhere and involved watercolours (?)

I got on my bicycle and zipped off at top speed all the way down Brickfields Road.  I didn't realise I had a flat tyre until I got to the bottom and had to walk up again :-/

Once I was back home I offered to clean up my earlier mess but ended up tidying everything. For some reason the whole house was full of Christmas gift tags and pegs, which I tried to stuff into already full draws (full of Christmas gift tags and pegs)!

My dad came in with a small stuffed toy in the shape of a Christmas tree and placed it proudly on the settee. It was old and a bit manky :-/

My husband then turned up and told me he had built a cellar out of wood and chicken wire so I went down to look. 

It was very low so I had to crawl. It got lower and lower until it came to a point and I was trapped. The ceiling was also made of chicken wire but suddenly, ahead of me, a football dropped from high above, seemingly through the chicken wire into the space ahead of me. 

I knew my husband had done it to show off somehow and I shouted to ask how he'd done it. He didn't answer. I shouted and shouted but no answer came. 

I noticed that beyond the end of the cellar was a school or office building. There were a fair few people milling about with books and files. They looked at me as I shouted but no one came to help or ask if I was ok!

My uncle Owen appeared and was  very impressed with the cellar and mystified about the dropping football. He asked my husband how he'd done it and then....THEN he turned up straight away to explain!  I got really cross that he continued to ignore me as I tried to get his attention to no avail. 

I got all worked up and upset and was shouting but no one paid any attention.

It may have been a separate dream then as I was in a restaurant and bit into a ham roll only to find it had lettuce in it. The taste hit me first then a horrible crunching noise. 

Quite disgustingly, I pulled everything out of my mouth, removed anything green, then put it back in again!

A woman at the next table was retching really loudly so I turned to look. She looked most unwell and she just managed to apologise for doing that while I was eating but explained she was allergic. I said I was just as bad with my lettuce experience and not to worry. She looked at me as if I'd just spoken in Martian so I decided to leave. 

When I got home I tried to weigh myself but it varied by a few stone depending on where the scales was. I found the lowest reading and left it there, but I couldn't see the display because it was suddenly covered by a pink and white stripy paper carrier bag. 

I looked in it to find lots of wonderful, luxury, hand made old fashioned sweets.  They all looked amazing!  Also in there was a red silky negligee which I held up and realised it was a size 10. 

My friend Jules was suddenly there and I remarked to her that it was way too small. The whole bag was a birthday present off my team so I rang Lauren to thank her. I didn't like to mention that the negligee was too small though. 

I tried to walk away but realised I was tied to a pole in the middle of the room. My ankles and wrists were tied with blood pressure monitors and chains! 

I decided to sit cross legged, wrapped around the pole and eat all the sweets!

Hmmmmm....

I was walking through a town centre somewhere at night. It was quiet. Not many people about. For some reason I was only wearing a long, white, old fashioned night gown.

I got into some sort of argument with some young people but we all ended up friends and playing with a skipping rope!

 I noticed a doctor's surgery and  walked up to it. There was a sign that said 'are we open over the bank holiday?' underneath, a doctor had written 'polish my arse!'

For some reason this amused me so 

I decided to break in (?!)  I got through the front door easily and found the same sign 'polish my arse' on the reception desk. 

I decided it would be amusing to get into the doctor's office and make the seat of his chair so highly polished that he would slide off it. 

Unfortunately however, I couldn't unlock that door so I mooched about in reception.  There was a cupboard that turned out to be a fridge filled with soft drinks. I toyed with the idea of pinching a can of diet coke but thought better of it. 

The light from the fridge however, particularly when reflected off my white nightgown, had attracted attention. A passer by looked in and saw me. 

I panicked and shouted that I'd broken in because I was ill. She nodded and rushed off, shouting that she would get help. 

Everything suddenly changed. My nightgown became a white bath towel wrapped around me and both me and the passer by were in a busy casualty department of a hospital. 

I tried to run and hide but there were so many people there looking at me so....(this has got to be one of my weirdest bits of a dream ever).....I turned myself into a tray of three plum tomatoes!

I then managed to hide under a bench seat but I realised that I was slowly cooking and turning into tomato mush. 

I was aware that a team of medical staff were still looking for me and in the end they found me. 

Everyone was shocked at how poorly I was (but not about the fact that I was human tomatoes!) and I could see parents covering the eyes of small children who screamed when they saw me!

The dream ended when a doctor used a defibrillator on me, I had a huge shock and woke up!

Where to start...?

Yes...another marathon.  Many apologies...I will TRY to keep it as brief as I can but......well I am not known for my ability to do that!

The first bit I can remember, is where I was a slave to a gangster.  He had me on a lead and made me crawl everywhere, but in the way that a rabbit would run, so both arms had to always move together and both knees did too.   Now you have that ridiculous image in your head, let me expand on it a little.  I was crawling on ice and my job was to break the ice by jumping and skidding on it... and reveal the pavement beneath.  Once revealed the gangster could get people to stand on it and punch them!  

Somehow, this dream merged into the next where I was backpacking around the world with my Dad (a less likely scenario you could not imagine)!  We'd had a most fantastic time and we had arrived home, at the base of a mountain where we all lived as a family.  I really wanted to carry on backpacking, to see more of the world, but Dad was weary and wanted to go home, so we did.  We climbed up the mountain to a strange, topsy turvy little house perched on the top.

Once there we had a strange meal of garden cuttings and slugs (yes...slugs keep appearing lately in my dreams....can't think why! ;-), and we ate outside on a rickety old table with three legs.

The next bit of the dream was in a huge, but empty....almost derelict flat.  It was my home though and I was living there with another person, not sure who.  There were two huge living rooms.  One was completely wood lined, dark and just about warm enough to be in without too much discomfort.  The rest of the flat however, was absolutely freezing...really draughty and bitter cold.

In the other living room, me and this mystery person (male is all I know), were playing a game of both running from opposite ends of the room, jumping in the air, landing flat on our bellies (ouch!) and sliding as far as we could - it was a competition, great fun, not as painful as it would be in real life and managed to warm us up.

In this flat, there was an odd shaped bathroom where all the bathroom furniture was in a different cupboard in many nooks and crannies in the room...so the loo was in one cupboard, the bath in another and so on.....I managed to find a small cupboard that seemed to disappear round a corner so I crawled in to investigate and found a secret room.  It also turned out that the flat next-door had a similar set up that led to the same room.

OK...I wasn't sure how much of this bit to put...maybe it should be completely censored, but....well....it transpired that I had the same fetish as my neighbour so we would meet in the secret room for sex.  I shall not go into any further details and I won't say who the person is!  ;-)

So....on to the next bit then! :)

Back in the flat, with the other person I lived with....who was now female....we heard scratching and chewing in the ceiling which was now polystyrene and painted a horrible sickly, pinky-purply colour.  It was in such a bad condition that I could see up into the roof space and could see a rat in there.

I called it out and it obediently came out! I was stroking it, but I knew I also had to get it out of the flat, so I picked it up as gently as I could at the base of its tail but it curved round and bit me really hard.  Its teeth were deeply embedded in my hand and I was trying to use my other hand to prise its jaw apart.  

In the end I had to flick it off and I felt really bad about hurting it but it ran off and seemed ok.

I suddenly noticed that the flat was no longer a flat but a waiting room at a railway station.  I realised I was on a package holiday that involved going everywhere by train.  We all had to walk in procession down the platform, over a bridge and into the station cafe for our meal.

The only thing..... was that there was no ground.  Just planks of wood not very well lined up with huge gaps and nothing below, just a horrible long fall into nothing if you didn't stay on the planks!

The bloke behind me in the queue was identical to the bloke in front and I was very confused as to whether he was pushing in front of me or not, so decided to get cross with him anyway just in case!  There was a lot of dangerous jostling but we all survived into the cafe, where they were serving schoolboy and mushroom pie!!  I didn't have any because I don't like mushrooms!!!

It turned out the pies were poisonous and everyone else collapsed.  I wanted to take some of their plates (they were actually all plastic Disney dishes) as evidence, but they all dissolved.

Lots of police and ambulances turned up and following tests they told me I was dying anyway because I had caught 'instigitis' off the rat bite!!

Half a dream and xxx rated omissions!

Oh dear. You're only going to get half a dream I'm afraid. the rest was genuinely too X rated. 

I was meeting people for the first time. Some off twitter and some off blipfoto. 

I was wearing a leek on a hat so everyone would know it was me. I was in a pub in Wednesbury and it was 1995 for a day.  I was wearing normal clothes except there were holes in my top and my breasts were out!

I sat in a dark corner and one by one people turned up to join me. They all looked disappointed when they saw me and just said 'oh' then sat down looking awkward. 

Eventually everyone was there and I noticed that most people were dressed as wombles. 

I wanted to get drinks so I went upstairs to a kitchen with Wombat,  to make teas and coffees but each time I came down with the tray there was a problem. 

First of all the mugs all started leaking, so I went back up to get more, then there was no tea or coffee, then there was no water. 

Then I got them all made ok, but when I got downstairs they'd all gone white because I'd put bleach in them, instead of milk. 

Then I got them all perfect but they disappeared halfway down the stairs. 

I decided to buy wine instead and found a dusty wine cellar but then I was covered in cobwebs and dust and as I looked at my reflection I felt extremely depressed. 

My teeth and nose had grown and someone had set fire to my hair (!) it was all melted and matted. 

I changed the wine to champagne and hoped people would let me off looking so vile. 

I got back to the pub but they'd gone,  so I decided to go upstairs to bed but there was a girl, her mother and a photographer there. 

Suddenly I was the girl. There was a kitchen in the bedroom filled with eye patches and ice cubes. The mother kept popping in there for supplies. There were also other interesting items in the main room. 

I'm afraid it gets X rated at this point. In fact it gets XXX rated, so please feel free to use your imagination. 

Sorry! :-/

A freezer themed dream?

Here we go again then. 

Dw i'n wedi blino iawn, achos  bob nos dw i'n breuddwydio gormod!  Sorry. Practicing my Welsh there!!

So...my husband and I were cycling around a 1960s housing estate. All the houses were well kept and large with lovely gardens. It was very quiet. 

We found the house we were looking for and knocked the door. A man answered, welcomed us, folded our bikes up and hung them outside his neighbour's front door. 

He explained it was the safest thing to do and that an old bye-law allowed it. 

We followed him for a tour of his house then somehow realised my bike had been stolen. He looked very shifty and I somehow knew it was deliberate and that he was involved. 

I asked him how I was meant to get home...he told me to walk and I explained I couldn't as I had blisters on my tongue!

I threatened to call the police and he reluctantly produced the 'missing' bike from a chest freezer. It had been tarted up so was better than before. I saw this as compensation and decided to let him off. I also really liked the fact that the saddle was nice and cold!!

I suddenly realised I was meant to be looking after a work colleague, Fiona...I dashed back to my parents' house and reluctantly had to let her eat the last flapjack.  

I realised I was carrying a suitcase full of oblong, flattened Christmas cakes around and offered her one. She seemed delighted with this and picked the marzipan flavoured one :-/

The house changed. I was suddenly in Liverpool in Anne-Marie's house. We were in the front garden and we noticed there was a tsunami coming. 

I told everyone to hold on but we all ran in the house and hid in the boot room. 

The water in the house was little more than a puddle, but Anne-Marie was upset she had no milk; luckily I had a sachet of hot chocolate in my bra. (?!)

She said she had various tv programmes in the deep freeze but she fancied either doctor who or snooker. 

I said I'd rather wait to watch doctor who in comfort. 

When she opened the freezer however it was all defrosted and the only thing that could be saved was a life sized blipfoto. 

It was covered in frost which was also that silver coloured stuff you get on scratch cards. 

We didn't know what the photo was or whose it was so we started to scratch off the surface using false teeth!

When revealed, we stood back and could see it was Roy, in black and white, dressed up as a silent movie star!  He came to life, walked towards me and was eating out of a paper bag. I thought it was a bag of sweets, so when he offered me one I took it, only to find he was actually eating a bag of frozen slugs!! ;-)

Hospitals, weird stuff and a sexy game show...

OK... it's another long one....consider yourselves warned!

It started with me having a stroke!  Or at least my sub conscious mind's opinion of what it would be like to have one....which I have to say is pretty horrible. 

The left side of my body was weak so I couldn't walk. My left eye wouldn't shut, the left side of my mouth wouldn't smile and I could barely talk. 

I had a battle to get anyone to take me to hospital, then I was in the waiting room for hours panicking because I knew the quicker they acted, the better my chance of recovery.....and no one was doing anything. 

I kept trying to explain this to people but no one would listen. 

Somehow...time moved on and the stroke was no longer an issue but I was still in the hospital. 

I was with my husband and we bumped into Dara O'Briain. We got chatting and he told us we should go to one of his gigs. He gave us a list and we noticed he was coming to Swansea. 

He looked and said 'oh yes. It's now'!  He then ran off as he was late. 

It turned out the gig was in the room we were stood in so we sat in the middle of the floor. 

He started off by picking someone out of the audience that turned out to be my friend Jules. He introduced her, walked off stage and left her to it.  

She did several cartwheels, then stuck gold bubblewrap on her shoulder and (very obviously) while she was turned away, pulled a string which made fake vomit dribble out of the bubble wrap. 

Dara came back and said that was it, so everyone went except Heather Trott from eastenders.  She didn't feel well so I sat her down and offered to take her blood pressure. 

I went off to get a bp monitor thingy but on the way, I noticed I'd dropped hundreds of backs of earrings and bits of curtains all over the hospital corridor. 

I tried to pick them up but whenever someone walked past and touched one, it popped and jumped a few yards, like Himalayan Balsam seeds!

A matron came over to me and asked what I was doing. I explained and she came with me to take Heather's BP. 

It was lower than mine so she threw us all out. 

I refused to go saying that Heather wasn't well and I'd stay with her until it was sorted even if it took all night. 

Heather started to cry, then John Major appeared to throw me out. I started to run and he chased me down corridors. As I went through doors I deliberately didn't shut them properly to make him think I was more stupid than I am (!)

Eventually I hid in a loo and he couldn't find me, but when I left the loo, I realised I was in a game show with two of my male friends and one female friend. 

I won't name them to save embarrassing them!  

The idea of the game show, was that we all had to choose one person to have sex with, no one would know who had chosen who, but the director sent us off in pairs. 

After having sex we came back and watched on a screen as it was revealed who had chosen who...and why!

Much upset followed. Tears, accusations and arguments. 

At the end of it all the director told me I'd won and that my prize was a season ticket to watch the tin pot hat men.  :-/

And I wonder why I can't get up in the mornings!

Special offer today only.....a photo!! ;-)

Last night's dream started with me in a bath (again) but there were others in the bathroom with me and we were chatting. 

My sister suddenly realised my dad had money and went tearing out to find him. I put on pyjamas that looked like this... 

...(you're spoilt with a photo today!) and ran after her, to try to persuade her to leave him alone. 

We didn't find Dad, but we were sat with Mam and I suggested that as I was now single (?!) my sister and I could live together. 

Can I just stop a moment to do this.......?

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Thank you.  


If you knew how it went last time we lived together you'd understand.  ;-)

Anyway.....back to the dream.... I had a premonition within the dream, of the house we'd live in. It was gorgeous and all the doors were absolutely, stunningly beautiful stained glass but had no wall above them so the top couple of foot of the entire ground floor was open plan....if you see what I mean? :-/

I also had a premonition, (also known as a certainty), that she wouldn't pay her part of the rent. My whole premonition then got encased in blue glass (?!) and I told my sister and mother I'd buy a house on my own instead. 

At that moment my phone rang. The screen was unusually artistic and decorative; I answered and it was Roy telling me he'd read my blog and thought it was part of a book. 

Although he was ringing me I also knew he was upstairs, so I went looking for him, but when I got there it had turned into the back offices of Cardiff City Hall. 

I bumped into a girl and realised it was a younger version of myself wearing a purple jumper. 

We got chatting and 'she' told me she had 'sticky blood disorder' and had to take thinning drugs or she could die. 

I told her that I knew a girl who'd had that once and that she'd tragically died in her 20s....her name was Dawn. 

As I looked at her again, I realised it wasn't a younger version of me. It was actually Dawn and I was back in time, to the week before she died. 

I explained this and she thanked me, saying I had saved her life. To show her appreciation, she gave me a bra made of miniature angels that could only speak Welsh. 

If I leant right back and thrust my boobs out, they would lift me off the ground singing hymns in Welsh as they did so. 

And that's it.  Um....I must apologise for my subconscious mind's recent obsession with bras!!

Quick change act?

Last night's dream seemed to involve me wearing lots of different clothes!

To start with I was wearing nothing....quite right too as I was in the bath.  My friend Lauren turned up outside with a random person...I was meant to be ready to go somewhere and I wasn't.  I shouted through the window to her that I would be as quick as I could and I leapt out of the bath and put on a pink dressing gown.

I was trying to dry myself, iron clothes and dry my hair all at once.  I eventually got ready and was wearing black aprons all tied together!  I ran down to where Lauren was waiting and realised that I had forgotten my bag.  I panicked and ran back up the stairs to what had now become a huge office building.

A girl was holding my bag so I went to retrieve it but she wouldn't let me have it and kept asking me questions about the contents so I could prove it was mine.

I objected, due to the 'personal items' I had in there and just said that if she let me, I would fish out some ID from the bag.

She continued to be awkward and seemed to be enjoying it, so in the end I said..'look....do you know who I am'?  At this point she sulkily handed it over.  I honestly don't know who I was though! ;-)

As I walked off towards a sort of huge posh galleried landing, the girl called over to her friend.  She said he was my 'pawge'.  I looked bewildered and she explained that he hated me and it was his mission in life to make me unhappy no matter who I thought I was!

I looked over to see a black, gay man walking towards me.  He was good looking, slim and very fashionably dressed and he looked me up and down laughing.

I walked off but was unable to pick up my feet so I had to slide my way around this galleried landing and noticed that I was now wearing a crystal blue teardrop as a dress!

The man (my pawge - whatever that means), was shouting abuse and more and more people stopped to stare, point and laugh at me.  I felt very uncomfortable and was glad to get out.

I ended up in the post room and found loads of post addressed to me.  It turned out many people had sent me presents.  I had a book of Liverpool Augusts of the past, off Steve and Anne-Marie, a DVD off Gwyn and a mystery item off James that was impossible to unwrap.  I also had a load of old books tied up in ribbons from my sister.  They were all my old schoolbooks and it was very emotional.  I sat and cried and the tears stained my dress which was now made of paint drips.

I decided I was running late and walked away, ending up in a long hotel corridor which was both inside and outside at the same time.  I was trying to catch up with someone that wouldn't turn round, so I couldn't see who they were.  People on bikes kept going past at stupid speeds so I had to keep jumping on the grass verge to avoid being hit.  As I turned round to see if any more bikes were coming, I noticed a man pointing a gun at me.  I screamed and ran inside the restaurant of the hotel.  Someone asked me what was wrong but when I explained she said that it was a fancy dress party and wasn't a real gun.

She then pointed out that I must have known this as I had come dressed up myself.  I looked down to see that I was dressed as a dragonfly in a corset and had no legs.

I swear....I am not on drugs.  Honestly!  ;-)

All creatures great and small?

Nice short one...

I was in a shed trying to stop two pet rats escape, through a roller blind. They kept outsmarting me and managing to poke their heads through. 

After that I was in a beautiful woodland setting and I went underground, to a training complex made of tree roots. It was all animated and fairytale-like. The way the sunbeams lit the room was beautiful. 

We were suddenly all wearing odd things. I had a skirt made of feathers and a bra made of 2 red and white spotted toadstools. 

Sometimes I felt weird sensations and I felt sure there were squirrels living in the bra, trying to hide nuts. 

We then had a training course in 'being', which was conducted by a wasp called Phil. 

We all remarked on how we thought the course should have been conducted by a bee called Chris, but agreed it was a good course anyway!

And that was it!

Although I have to say a course in 'being' sounds very useful indeed! ;-)

Beware of pixels...

I dreamt that the world had been taken over by pixels. 

Most people had lost their homes and were sleeping on pavements outside cinemas. Only laid back, truly nice people got to share houses.  

There wasn't enough food or cleanliness to go around and life was somewhat chaotic. 

We (my husband and I), were street sleeping and had to fight our way into a public canteen, where we just about got some food. 

After eating, it was just as hard to get 

into public baths, but I managed and seemed to spend most of my life wandering around Worcester, still wet, just wearing a towel, looking for spare cake!

My friend Lauren rang me to say she was sharpening her glasses ready to lead a strike (?!) and that I should start standing outside banks to beg for tins!

As time went on, less people seemed to care about eating or keeping clean(!) so I got the previously overcrowded public canteen and baths to myself. 

I found this odd and one day decided to ask someone about it. 

I discovered that none of it was real, that we'd all just been extras in a film and that they'd stopped filming weeks ago but forgot to tell me. 

I rang my husband who confirmed he was at home making a cheese casserole. I got very cross that he hadn't told me and decided I would run off with a pixel just to get my own back. 

Weird...

Not a dream. 

Just wanted to record somewhere that today....well technically yesterday now....was very weird. I'm yet to be convinced I'm not dreaming now!

I now want beautiful clothes, some magnetic nanocules and paving slabs you can read/listen to! But you can keep the doors.

I was in an office that wasn't mine and I was sat at a computer that was more like a telly. 

There were a number of people milling about and I was vaguely aware that I knew most of them. I picked up on a conversation my friend Andy was having with someone about girlfriends. 

He came over to me and I could hear him explaining 'of course Liz is the female that has put up with me for longest as we've been friends for 30 years'. 

I should point out that Andy and I have actually been friends for 16 years and it is not the case that I have to 'put up with him'. More the other way round I'd say!

Aaaanyway.....back to the dream!

Whatever it was I had on the computer/TV screen, I clearly didn't want anyone to see as I used a fluffy roller which had 'magnetic nanocules' in it which when rolled over the screen, removed the current image, revealing instead what had been on there this time last week!

The office turned into a flat. A very small flat!  It was nextdoor to another similar flat. 

All the people from the office were now nextdoor except me, Andy and his girlfriend who were in this flat. 

I was aware that my clothes were hanging up everywhere and were considerably nicer than my real clothes. They were colourful, interesting and just beautiful clothes. 

I was aware it was a tiny flat so I was trying to tidy them away as they seemed to be taking up far too much space.  The flat also had far too many doors!

By now, Andy had changed into Dave, a former work colleague who happens to be gay. 

Despite this, in my dream he happily had a girlfriend and we all lived in the tiny flat together. I looked out of the window and realised we were right on the seafront at Barry Island. 

It was very busy and noisy and I envied the people living on the top floor in the penthouse!

Andy/Dave's girlfriend announced she was off to work in Shifnal. I exclaimed 'oh Shifnal!?' and tried to tell her I used to live there but she kept talking over me telling me where it was and all about it. 

I kept trying to interrupt to make her understand I knew because I lived there for four years but she yattered on then just left. 

I felt annoyed so to avoid whinging at Andy/Dave about his girlfriend I started to reminisce about Shifnal. As I did, the dream actually became one about Shifnal...

Some paving slabs were missing from the pavement outside our house and my mother was supervising my dad replacing them i.e. telling him what to do!

Instead of paving slabs he was using children's books. There was an annual, an Enid Blyton book and Aesop's fables. 

As he used these books and placed them exactly where my mother told him, I then noticed that some books were actually beautiful songs. 

I was feeling all relaxed and nostalgic when suddenly I was attacked by a load of doors coming down the road. I ran into a field but there were doors everywhere so I walked through one and woke up. 

A most peculiar building...

I was in a strange building as it was a cross between a house, a doctor's surgery, a village hall and a television studio!

It is fair to say that the whole dream was a bit muddled!

In this odd, multi purpose building, I was in the hallway and there was a mezzanine level.  I had just got up and did not have any clothes on...except a flappy hospital gown.  I was trying to throw a duvet and some pillows (real pillows this time! ;-) up on to this mezzanine level, but each time I tried, it just brought a load of other stuff down and it all ended up in a big mess on the floor.

I had to give up after a while as my arms were tired, so I went into the kitchen, which was actually a nurse's room, to have breakfast.  My mother was there and when she saw the mess she screamed, started to cry and got incredibly upset, saying that it was a catastrophe.

I explained that it was just stuff that had fallen down and that it would be sorted, but she seemed inconsolable!  She then pointed out that I had missed my doctor's appointment.  I panicked and looked at my wrist but I wasn't wearing a watch.  I looked everywhere for a clock but couldn't see one, so Mam told me it was ten past nine and that my appointment had been at nine.

I sat there completely still for a second or two, unsure of what to do, then decided to run for it and see if I could still see the doctor.  Before I had a chance to do anything however, a friendly happy nurse came in with a bowl of acid and put it down on the table in front of me.

She asked me if I had my special hand cream with me...and winked.  I got a tube of hand cream and handed it to her.  She smiled and started to dip my hands into the white, acid liquid, using her own gloved hands to rub the acid in and make sure they were properly rinsed.

It didn't hurt at all and she explained that it would just take the outer layer of my skin off and leave better healthier skin underneath.  She pointed to various weird looking spots on my hands and told me that they would all go, but that my hands would be very dry afterwards, so I would need to put hand cream on all the time.

After she went, I noticed a staircase that hadn't been there before covered in a turquoise patterened carpet  (not very nice).  I remember wondering why on earth I had chosen it, but then I noticed that the rest of the room had a much nicer pale gold coloured carpet.

Suddenly I was ironing but I dropped the iron and it burnt an iron shape into the carpet, I tried to pick it up but it was hot so I dropped it on another bit of the carpet.  This happened over and over and I was sort of juggling with the hot iron, ending up with many iron shaped burn marks all over the carpet.  I was very nervous that my mother would go mad!

My mother however was distracted by the mess from earlier but as we walked towards it, it had almost completely disappeared, revealing my sister, who had been buried underneath, sat at a reception desk.

She was running my Dad's business while he was away, but he was calling in every day to check how things were going.  It transpired it was some sort of holiday business.  A woman was there complaining that she had booked for the Galapagos Islands so why did she have to go to the Seychelles as well?  My sister tried to explain to her that it was a package holiday and it was all part of the package that she had booked and agreed to.  The woman would not accept it though and was getting very upset.  My sister was trying to deal with the woman and my Dad on the phone at the same time and looked very stressed.

I saw lots of the actors from Coronation street walking past into a large room so I followed them.  It turned out that I had to do a raffle and they were all sat in a huge hall waiting.  I was sat on the stage with my husband next to me and I had to choose the winning ticket.

I selected one and called it out and it all got confusing because there were complex codes and colours on the tickets and I wasn't sure if my husband had won or whether it was Sue Nicholls!

In the end there was a huge row and a lot of bad feeling and people were accusing us of cheating and the only way we could sort it out was by giving everyone a bucket of live octopi to eat!

All sorts of everything...

...happened in my dreams last night!

It was quite the opposite of the night before, which was pretty much like reading a story; last night was more like flicking through several strange magazines but never finishing any of the articles!

There was a bit where I was due to be going away somewhere and everyone else was ready and sitting in the car waiting for me, but I hadn't even started packing.  So I was rushing round trying to pack everything and the main problem seemed to be my make up.  There was far too much of it and it was scattered all over the place.  I also had to remember which item, did which thing in photoshop (oh if only I COULD photoshop my face)! :-D

I was in a room which I can only best describe as a pottery classroom!  There was a youngish bloke sat diagonally opposite me and he seemed to be having the same problems as I was... exactly.  If he sneezed, I sneezed, if he banged his head, so would I.  I commented on this and he was sulkily silent.  Just throwing me a filthy look!

My boss came up and asked me how I was getting on with photoshop (as you can tell this is my current obsession....makes a change from sex!) and I explained there was a lot to it and it was hard and she would have to be patient.

I noticed that all my make up was buried inside some clay and I hated the feeling of my fingernails being full of putty as I got busy digging it out.

In another bit of the dream, my stomach and boobs were huge.....much bigger even than in real life.  I lay on the settee and both my stomach and boobs were spread out in front of me.  People all came over to lie on me, using my stomach as a mattress and my boobs as pillows, declaring it all the most comfortable surface they had ever been on.  Many people also bounced my boobs around and put their face into them, burying and shaking their head around!

My mother came over and told me off for flaunting myself and covered me over with artex!

In another bit, a really attractive friend of mine was sitting at work being waxed by another girl as her face was completely covered in black hair.  I remember seeing that the girl had gone too far and removed her eyebrows too but I decided against saying anything!

Then.....(yes there's plenty more!) there was a bit where there were three people standing in the middle of the road which reminded me of Coombs Avenue in Worcester.  They were arguing about the periodic table! They all disagreed on how many elements there were but then another man walked over to say that he had discovered more so there were now 103.78!!  A woman argued that he couldn't possibly discover such a thing, but he explained it in a very scientific way and managed to convince them!

Then finally, there was a bit with a lift that was darting around up and down several floors and people were randomly getting in and out on different floors with no real purpose.  I kept waiting for an empty lift because I found the other people very annoying, but there was never an empty lift.  I suddenly had a box full of odd looking bottles of perfume.  They all had faces on of people I knew or had known in the past.  

When I opened them and sniffed them, instead of a smell I got an overwhelmingly strong emotion.  Some were lovely and happy and some were horrible, full of regret or very sad.

Each one had a photo on of the person and were named as the person's first name (e.g. 'ADE') and I passed the time by guessing before sniffing, what emotion I would have when I sniffed it.

I got totally wrapped up in this and very emotional, so when I eventually looked up at the lifts they had all been marked 'out of use' and I was trapped  as there were no stairs.

:-/

Censored!

Well last night certainly made up for the night before! 

The first dream was very dark, very intense and felt very real!

I was in London meeting someone. I don't know who she was but I didn't know her that well. 

When I met her she was visibly upset and shaken. She took me by the arm and pulled me away hurriedly, looking nervously around her as she tried to get us both out of view. 

Out of whose view I didn't know. 

We ended up walking along a canal tow path. All the time she remained nervous, always checking who was watching. We got to a bridge and as we stood under it she finally stopped walking and started to explain. 

She had somehow been tricked into working at a fetish sex club. She had been kept prisoner there but had escaped. They were after her. 

I asked her many questions. She explained some of the things she'd had to do, the sort of men that ran the club and she tried to convince me that even when she felt she should be safe, she knew they would still find her. 

She said the last thing she'd had to do before escaping was to be kept wrapped in bandages for days like a mummy, having her whole body and face covered. 

I was about to ask more when a man's arm shot up out of the water and grabbed her, pulling her into the canal. 

At the same time a helicopter could be heard close overhead, flying really low. I couldn't see it as I was still under the bridge. 

I looked at the water but couldn't see anyone or anything. I knew I couldn't swim well and felt very frightened so I decided to just run!

I ran up the canal tow path but the helicopter followed me. I could see a man holding on to the side but leaning out. He was smiling but it wasn't a good smile. 

I ended up outside what looked like a disused warehouse. The path seemed to have come to a dead end. I panicked and started to run back the other way but a man in a black suit and hat (inexplicably dry) was dragging the woman (drenched) towards me. 

She was crying and saying over and over that the canal water would stay with her forever. 

When she saw me she broke down completely saying how sorry she was. The man from the helicopter was now with us too and I suddenly noticed that I had a wad of £50 notes in my hand. 

The helicopter man looked me up and down and said that there were many fetishes and that even someone like me could earn a lot of money. 

I said I didn't want to but he said I'd already earned £1000 by putting on a show running away. Some men get off on fear....he explained. 

I looked at the money but told him I didn't want to do anything else now...just go home. 

He offered to show me around but I said I just wanted to go. He looked at the other man then nodded. 

'We don't force anyone'...he explained (somehow his smile made sure I didn't believe him), and they stood aside to let me go.  As I walked away he added 'but if we pay you, you will earn it'. 

This sounded menacing and I looked at the £1000 again. As if he knew my thoughts, he confirmed that I had already fully earned that. 

I walked home and was very glad to be arriving somewhere so familiar. As I got my keys out of my bag I noticed that I had another wad of money in there. At least £50,000. 

As I looked at my house I could see the helicopter in the back garden and I knew I'd been tricked. I ran into the house in sheer panic. 

For some reason, my mother was there so I rushed upstairs to hide the money and pretend everything was ok. She saw me trying to hide it and as she did two men walked in and dragged me into the helicopter. 

As we headed back to the club they told me exactly what I'd have to do for them to earn the money. 

I certainly can't blog the details as they are pretty outrageous!

This dream resulted in me waking up at 2.25am in a bit of a cold sweat. Then, after eventually falling asleep again.....

...I dreamt I could float, in black and white!  That is to say, I could float, but when I did, everything went black and white. 

I was floating very high and noticed I was above a hot air balloon. 

I manoeuvred myself around and I got to the point where the view I had was breathtaking. The balloon was fully visible at an angle below me and the occupants of the basket were leaning out looking at me. 

Some clouds were also below me and so was the most beautiful scenery. I could even see the curvature of the earth. 

I found that I could control the contrast of what I saw and did so until the black and white scene before me was just perfect. 

I remember thinking it was the best blip ever!

There was also a bit / another dream where I had a secret man hidden in a flat that he could never leave, so we had to have a wedding in the flat. 

That's about all I can remember of that one though and it's definitely the fetish  club dream that has stayed in my mind most. 

I blame last night's conversation!! ;-)