OK... it's another long one....consider yourselves warned!
It started with me having a stroke! Or at least my sub conscious mind's opinion of what it would be like to have one....which I have to say is pretty horrible.
The left side of my body was weak so I couldn't walk. My left eye wouldn't shut, the left side of my mouth wouldn't smile and I could barely talk.
I had a battle to get anyone to take me to hospital, then I was in the waiting room for hours panicking because I knew the quicker they acted, the better my chance of recovery.....and no one was doing anything.
I kept trying to explain this to people but no one would listen.
Somehow...time moved on and the stroke was no longer an issue but I was still in the hospital.
I was with my husband and we bumped into Dara O'Briain. We got chatting and he told us we should go to one of his gigs. He gave us a list and we noticed he was coming to Swansea.
He looked and said 'oh yes. It's now'! He then ran off as he was late.
It turned out the gig was in the room we were stood in so we sat in the middle of the floor.
He started off by picking someone out of the audience that turned out to be my friend Jules. He introduced her, walked off stage and left her to it.
She did several cartwheels, then stuck gold bubblewrap on her shoulder and (very obviously) while she was turned away, pulled a string which made fake vomit dribble out of the bubble wrap.
Dara came back and said that was it, so everyone went except Heather Trott from eastenders. She didn't feel well so I sat her down and offered to take her blood pressure.
I went off to get a bp monitor thingy but on the way, I noticed I'd dropped hundreds of backs of earrings and bits of curtains all over the hospital corridor.
I tried to pick them up but whenever someone walked past and touched one, it popped and jumped a few yards, like Himalayan Balsam seeds!
A matron came over to me and asked what I was doing. I explained and she came with me to take Heather's BP.
It was lower than mine so she threw us all out.
I refused to go saying that Heather wasn't well and I'd stay with her until it was sorted even if it took all night.
Heather started to cry, then John Major appeared to throw me out. I started to run and he chased me down corridors. As I went through doors I deliberately didn't shut them properly to make him think I was more stupid than I am (!)
Eventually I hid in a loo and he couldn't find me, but when I left the loo, I realised I was in a game show with two of my male friends and one female friend.
I won't name them to save embarrassing them!
The idea of the game show, was that we all had to choose one person to have sex with, no one would know who had chosen who, but the director sent us off in pairs.
After having sex we came back and watched on a screen as it was revealed who had chosen who...and why!
Much upset followed. Tears, accusations and arguments.
At the end of it all the director told me I'd won and that my prize was a season ticket to watch the tin pot hat men. :-/
And I wonder why I can't get up in the mornings!
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