Sickness, Christmas, nudity and bondage medical equipment !?

Quick whinge first. TERRIBLE night's sleep. I now feel a bit sick, headachy and dizzy!  

Also it was AGES after I woke up before the dream came back to me this time. Brain lag!

Aaanyway...I dreamt I was living in this (my) house, but lots of things were different including its location and I was still living with my parents. 

It started with me running to the downstairs loo, not making it in time and being sick all over my clothes and the floor. (nice)!

I took all my clothes off but for some reason wandered off before cleaning up or getting dressed again. 

I was in a huge yard then and had to dash to work which was in a ditch somewhere and involved watercolours (?)

I got on my bicycle and zipped off at top speed all the way down Brickfields Road.  I didn't realise I had a flat tyre until I got to the bottom and had to walk up again :-/

Once I was back home I offered to clean up my earlier mess but ended up tidying everything. For some reason the whole house was full of Christmas gift tags and pegs, which I tried to stuff into already full draws (full of Christmas gift tags and pegs)!

My dad came in with a small stuffed toy in the shape of a Christmas tree and placed it proudly on the settee. It was old and a bit manky :-/

My husband then turned up and told me he had built a cellar out of wood and chicken wire so I went down to look. 

It was very low so I had to crawl. It got lower and lower until it came to a point and I was trapped. The ceiling was also made of chicken wire but suddenly, ahead of me, a football dropped from high above, seemingly through the chicken wire into the space ahead of me. 

I knew my husband had done it to show off somehow and I shouted to ask how he'd done it. He didn't answer. I shouted and shouted but no answer came. 

I noticed that beyond the end of the cellar was a school or office building. There were a fair few people milling about with books and files. They looked at me as I shouted but no one came to help or ask if I was ok!

My uncle Owen appeared and was  very impressed with the cellar and mystified about the dropping football. He asked my husband how he'd done it and then....THEN he turned up straight away to explain!  I got really cross that he continued to ignore me as I tried to get his attention to no avail. 

I got all worked up and upset and was shouting but no one paid any attention.

It may have been a separate dream then as I was in a restaurant and bit into a ham roll only to find it had lettuce in it. The taste hit me first then a horrible crunching noise. 

Quite disgustingly, I pulled everything out of my mouth, removed anything green, then put it back in again!

A woman at the next table was retching really loudly so I turned to look. She looked most unwell and she just managed to apologise for doing that while I was eating but explained she was allergic. I said I was just as bad with my lettuce experience and not to worry. She looked at me as if I'd just spoken in Martian so I decided to leave. 

When I got home I tried to weigh myself but it varied by a few stone depending on where the scales was. I found the lowest reading and left it there, but I couldn't see the display because it was suddenly covered by a pink and white stripy paper carrier bag. 

I looked in it to find lots of wonderful, luxury, hand made old fashioned sweets.  They all looked amazing!  Also in there was a red silky negligee which I held up and realised it was a size 10. 

My friend Jules was suddenly there and I remarked to her that it was way too small. The whole bag was a birthday present off my team so I rang Lauren to thank her. I didn't like to mention that the negligee was too small though. 

I tried to walk away but realised I was tied to a pole in the middle of the room. My ankles and wrists were tied with blood pressure monitors and chains! 

I decided to sit cross legged, wrapped around the pole and eat all the sweets!

Carrots, cannibalism and chaos (or also known as WTF?)!

Oh good grief where do I start?  Surely I mustn't have had any rest at all with this lot going on in my head?

The first bit was where myself and a load of others were kept as prisoners in a grassy area, inside a castle. 

We had to live off grass and human body parts and it seemed perfectly normal to see people picking up a human arm or leg and just eating it!  I should add that the body parts were still clothed including things like wrist watches!

Then...a long haired man whispered to me that he had secretly been growing carrots. He walked up to one of the guards, whipped out a carrot and waved it in front of his face! 

It turned out that carrots were the key and we were all set free! 

So....I woke up and returned to sleep only to get this little lot...

I was in a house with 'my husband' but it wasn't actually my real husband. The sound of a Tesco delivery van beeping outside woke me up and I was annoyed because we hadn't ordered anything. 

When I woke up properly it turned out I'd been sleeping in a shopping trolley in Asda with my husband pushing me around. 

A number of bitchy women made comments about me being lazy but when I explained we slept in shifts, they apologised(?)!

I got up and drove us to my mother's house in my mini. I drove like a lunatic to get there. 

Once there, my sister was there too and we started to talk about Christmas. My mother had previously joked sarcastically (in the dream), that she wanted a Sopranos box set for Christmas so I was winding her up by pretending I had taken her comment at face value and saying I'd got it for her. 

I managed to keep a straight face so both my mother and sister believed me and in my head I was planning to wrap something the same shape. I could see my mother looked worried and my sister thought it was hysterical. 

Everyone wanted to go shopping that afternoon so I decided to drive the mini home and swap it for a bigger car (Gwyn's new car I think)!

It was a long way, but I set off and it was somewhere in the middle of Ronkswood (an area of Worcester), that I noticed I'd lost my mini and was now on a bicycle :-/

I was also lost. I turned into 'Ty Fry Gardens' but it was a dead end and it was also entirely pink. 

A horrible, rude little boy was shouting and swearing at me and kept throwing snowballs at me as I cycled away. The snowballs were softer and warmer than usual but once they hit you, they stuck. 

I suddenly panicked about the fact that I'd lost my car and decided to call in to see Richard to see if he could help. I had a large Christmas card with me, for him, but it had 40 on it in huge sparkly numbers. 

Once in his house I was overly aware of his windowsill and wanted to stand near it (!) 

Andy arrived and I panicked that I only had one card. 

I was trying to arrange with them both, three separate visits. Two to see each of them to give them their Christmas presents and one to see my family.  It was hard because my diary showed I only had Tuesdays(?)!

It didn't occur to any of us for ages that I could do it all in one visit! I also had to visit Andy in his office for some reason :-/

I left deciding to give the Christmas card to a solicitor instead (?!) so that he could help me find my car. 

I was suddenly in an office trying to explain things to a very annoying man that kept talking over me and saying that he was a barrister not a solicitor and I shouldn't get that mixed up because he was far more important and clever. 

He said I was only allowed to talk to him in bullet points of law and case law and that I had to wear his wig (which was red)!

I tried to do this, but he suddenly shouted that the snowball throwing child was him when he was younger!  He pointed to a snowball still on my back, declared it as evidence and tried to wrestle me to the floor. 

I threw my bike at him and ran away feeling really cross and worrying I was late to take my mother shopping. 

!?

Happy Christmas

I dreamt that as it was so cold, Christmas was moved to June.  The traditional food was declared to be anything raspberry flavoured. I found a raspberry cheesecake I liked and hid it in a drawer under my bed. 

My nieces and mother were with me in a small room in an office building on 'Christmas day' eating bright pink ice cream sprouts. We were looking out at a side street when I saw my boss' boss (SMcG). She had been shrunken and had ice permanently stuck under her feet, so kept falling over. 

For some reason none of us found this funny. 

I discovered I could only go down stairs by throwing myself down them at breakneck speed, totally out of control. 

In this way I arrived in a room where my Dad was painting the walls with white gloss paint.   Everyone immediately started to shout at me that the paint was wet and it seemed no matter where I moved to, it was wrong, as the paint was wet there too. 

In the end everyone pushed me outside with annoyance.  It had been raining and I noticed that I could see scenes from the future in droplets of water. I walked along studying what was going to happen but didn't see a big hole so fell down it. 

Merry Christmas...

From Thursday night...

I was off to my team Christmas meal/outing and I chose the most bizarre outfit. For anyone that knows me in real life please be warned that the image that may be conjured up in your mind's eye after the following description, may cause permanent trauma so you may (wisely) choose to skip the next paragraph!

I wore a bright pink strappy top with a White, pink and green flowery MINI skirt!  It was too loose, so the whole outfit was topped off by a 'waist' clinching bright pink plastic belt!   

In the dream I was a bit unsure of the outfit but seemed oblivious as to the full horrible inappropriateness of it!

We went to room K but a woman told us that she'd double booked and we had to go. It was only then, that I noticed there was a Christmas tree and decorations in the room so I argued we should stay, as who else would want a Christmas room in May?

She was determined we should go, so she ushered us off with the promise of a better room. Every time we tried another room it was no good. Either it was too big, too small, full of people or sometimes it was a canteen, a zoo or a bed showroom. 

I started to get really agitated and pushed the woman up against a wall staring her in the eye and shouting. She said I had 'sexless, go to your own bed' eyes and that I'd scared her. I said good. 

One person on the team was trying to calm me down and reassure me. 

She finally took us to a lift which I didn't think we'd all get in but we did. It came out on the top of the roof which was actually the top of a cliff then she ran off and left us there.