Where to start...?

Yes...another marathon.  Many apologies...I will TRY to keep it as brief as I can but......well I am not known for my ability to do that!

The first bit I can remember, is where I was a slave to a gangster.  He had me on a lead and made me crawl everywhere, but in the way that a rabbit would run, so both arms had to always move together and both knees did too.   Now you have that ridiculous image in your head, let me expand on it a little.  I was crawling on ice and my job was to break the ice by jumping and skidding on it... and reveal the pavement beneath.  Once revealed the gangster could get people to stand on it and punch them!  

Somehow, this dream merged into the next where I was backpacking around the world with my Dad (a less likely scenario you could not imagine)!  We'd had a most fantastic time and we had arrived home, at the base of a mountain where we all lived as a family.  I really wanted to carry on backpacking, to see more of the world, but Dad was weary and wanted to go home, so we did.  We climbed up the mountain to a strange, topsy turvy little house perched on the top.

Once there we had a strange meal of garden cuttings and slugs (yes...slugs keep appearing lately in my dreams....can't think why! ;-), and we ate outside on a rickety old table with three legs.

The next bit of the dream was in a huge, but empty....almost derelict flat.  It was my home though and I was living there with another person, not sure who.  There were two huge living rooms.  One was completely wood lined, dark and just about warm enough to be in without too much discomfort.  The rest of the flat however, was absolutely freezing...really draughty and bitter cold.

In the other living room, me and this mystery person (male is all I know), were playing a game of both running from opposite ends of the room, jumping in the air, landing flat on our bellies (ouch!) and sliding as far as we could - it was a competition, great fun, not as painful as it would be in real life and managed to warm us up.

In this flat, there was an odd shaped bathroom where all the bathroom furniture was in a different cupboard in many nooks and crannies in the room...so the loo was in one cupboard, the bath in another and so on.....I managed to find a small cupboard that seemed to disappear round a corner so I crawled in to investigate and found a secret room.  It also turned out that the flat next-door had a similar set up that led to the same room.

OK...I wasn't sure how much of this bit to put...maybe it should be completely censored, but....well....it transpired that I had the same fetish as my neighbour so we would meet in the secret room for sex.  I shall not go into any further details and I won't say who the person is!  ;-)

So....on to the next bit then! :)

Back in the flat, with the other person I lived with....who was now female....we heard scratching and chewing in the ceiling which was now polystyrene and painted a horrible sickly, pinky-purply colour.  It was in such a bad condition that I could see up into the roof space and could see a rat in there.

I called it out and it obediently came out! I was stroking it, but I knew I also had to get it out of the flat, so I picked it up as gently as I could at the base of its tail but it curved round and bit me really hard.  Its teeth were deeply embedded in my hand and I was trying to use my other hand to prise its jaw apart.  

In the end I had to flick it off and I felt really bad about hurting it but it ran off and seemed ok.

I suddenly noticed that the flat was no longer a flat but a waiting room at a railway station.  I realised I was on a package holiday that involved going everywhere by train.  We all had to walk in procession down the platform, over a bridge and into the station cafe for our meal.

The only thing..... was that there was no ground.  Just planks of wood not very well lined up with huge gaps and nothing below, just a horrible long fall into nothing if you didn't stay on the planks!

The bloke behind me in the queue was identical to the bloke in front and I was very confused as to whether he was pushing in front of me or not, so decided to get cross with him anyway just in case!  There was a lot of dangerous jostling but we all survived into the cafe, where they were serving schoolboy and mushroom pie!!  I didn't have any because I don't like mushrooms!!!

It turned out the pies were poisonous and everyone else collapsed.  I wanted to take some of their plates (they were actually all plastic Disney dishes) as evidence, but they all dissolved.

Lots of police and ambulances turned up and following tests they told me I was dying anyway because I had caught 'instigitis' off the rat bite!!

Here we go again...

...with a lengthy exhausting dream.  In my conscious state I do not have enough imagination to come up with all this stuff day after day...I mean my imagination is pretty good, but not THIS good.  Where on earth does it all come from?!

So in the first dream, my husband and I were somewhere possibly in the North of England...we had been on a tour that was like an open bus tour except on a train.  The train had actually gone through a pub and the tour guide told us that it was the World's first 'gay railway station pub'!  

Later on we were walking around and we decided to cross the border so that we could say we had been to Bulgaria(!)  We did this, but then needed to find the nearest railway station to get home, so Paul went to ask a policeman.  We were worried about language difficulties but had no choice other than to ask him in English.  He replied in a strong Welsh accent speaking perfect English and it dawned on us that we were in Wales not Bulgaria but that it was an easy mistake to make (?!)

He pointed to the railway station and as we entered it around a sweeping corner, we realised we were bak in the gay railway station pub.  We got on the train to pass through the pub and it drove very slowly so I looked around, taking it all in.

It was a large, light & airy pub.  It was very nicely done up and I noticed that the menus looked good too.  I also noticed a colourful sign up on the wall that said 'your application to smoke in this pub has not been rejected'.  I found this a little odd but didn't think too much of it.

We then had to get off the train and wait for the next one.  Some people went outside to wait.  I stayed inside but as I looked around the pub got smokier and smokier as everyone started to light up.  I asked the barman how come it wasn't illegal to smoke inside.  He explained that it was allowed because a committee had voted.  I questioned it again and he said that if you came in the winter, when they were doing cabaret (I noticed a stage at this point), then it was so smoky no one could actually see the stage.

I asked him if he minded and he said it was awful, but he couldn't get another job.  I said that when I got home I would check the law and if it turned out they were breaking the law I would report it for him!  He was really grateful and gave me some coloured light bulbs as a thank you gift!

OK... so then I woke up and when I went back to sleep eventually, I got this little lot...

Clare (a friend and member of my team at work), rang me up REALLY upset because she was worried that the infestation of mice she had just got rid of, would happen again (she hasn't really had an infestation of mice)!  I was trying to reassure her but in the end I had to drive to go to see her.

When I got there loads of her family were there and the house was in a complete mess.  I took my sandals off and picked my way around all the items on the floor.  Everyone said it was nice of me to come all that way to see her and tried to give me cake, but I am on a diet so I hid it in an outside loo with no door.  While I was using the loo I was attacked by insects.

Clare's Dad wanted a lift somewhere, so he told me to put my boots on(?) and we walked to my car which had turned into an American style truck with an open back.  It looked battered but I knew it was brand new.  Clare's Dad started to bang it with a hammer to open it but I clicked the key and it opened for him and for some reason he got into the open bit at the back.

I seemed to suddenly have two crates full of groceries, so I said he'd have to look after them in the back too.

I started to drive away but there was always a cafe in my way, so I had to reverse... but I could only see behind me in my wing mirrors and I am not the best person at reversing (understatement) so I was nervous and felt sure I would hit something.

Despite this I had no choice so I reversed...and reversed...and reversed...and the gap seemed to get narrower with more objects (mainly tables) and people getting closer and more twisty difficult routes to manoeuvre through!  I am sure I closed my eyes at one point but somehow miraculously I got out and was able to drive away.

We got to where we were going.  It was a hospital and I also worked there.  For some reason I was unable to walk with the two crates, I had to crawl and push them along as I crawled down the corridors.

We went round and round a few times with me crawling the whole time, but couldn't find my work place or wherever it was he was going.  Instead we ended up in a debating area!  It consisted of a few rooms with a person in charge of each room and various debates going on. They had the TV on and newspapers open.  Clare's Dad sat at a desk with 'Ibbotson' written on it.  He rubbed it out, put his own name and started to talk about his opinion on something on the news.

I decided he seemed happy enough so I would leave him and try to get to work.

I crawled on and thought I had got to a dead end but there was an invisible corner and I eventually came out into a corridor that seemed familiar.  It led to a gift shop and then back into the main hospital and I suddenly realised that I could walk upright so I stopped crawling and my crates turned into a trolley.

I was then suddenly outside in a town and as I looked around I could see a pretty stretch of water, with autumnal plants growing on it.  I thought it would make a good photo so I walked towards it to find Roy was stood there already, with his daughter.  He had very posh camera equipment which he explained was rain proof.  I suddenly realised it was raining and that my camera was wet.  I tried to dry it on my T shirt and hide it inside my coat but I wasn't wearing a coat so I tried to fit the whole camera in my bra.

I didn't want to disturb Roy so I went to walk further on to the bridge, to take a photo from there.  When I looked however, the bridge was completely full of people all crowded on there to look at the river.  I asked Roy what was going on and he explained there was a carnival.

As he spoke, the carnival started to go past on the river.  It was like the usual type of carnival with floats with themes etc except it was all on the water.  There were large boats and little canoes all going by playing music and waving to the crowds!   Roy's daughter climbed up onto a wall and jumped on to one of the floats.  He was clapping and cheering.

They all went past and I remember thinking what a lovely idea it was to have a water carnival, but only after they had all gone, did it occur to me that I had forgotten to take any photos and I felt really annoyed!

I walked back from the water and suddenly I was aware it was very early in the morning and there was hardly anyone around.  I was heading for a dead end and all that was there was a horse.  I was going to go to see it, but I was aware of a dodgy looking man lurking around and although I felt sure I was probably safe, something in the back of my mind was a bit cautious so I turned back in the other direction.

I got to a house and walked upstairs and a woman appeared shouting at me that I was the wrong housekeeper and I was there on the wrong day and the wrong floor and I had to leave before I got caught!

I was totally confused and couldn't remember where I was or where I was meant to be, so I went back into the kitchen and found a horse there licking the floor.  I tried to remember if it was the same horse but I couldn't remember what colour it was so I ran away feeling very confused!

A fair jumble of random weirdosity...

I definitely dreamt about Gwyn but I went back to sleep and now all I can remember is that we were playing with Lego!

Then I was part of a film production and we were filming in Cooper's field in Cardiff. There were some fairly well known people in it and Catherine Zeta Jones was playing the part of Castell Coch (!) and spent the whole time stood on a step ladder!

I was then in a three storey house. I am not 100% sure whose house it was but I think it was Mandy & Steve's (friends I lost touch with over ten years ago). 

I'd been staying there but someone (I feel it was someone's Dad) wanted me out ASAP!

I was rushing round the house in the least efficient way possible, trying to gather all my stuff. I would only take one item from a room then rush down two floors to get something else then all the way back up etc. 

It was tiring and I had a feeling of not really making any progress. When I eventually had everything together I suddenly decided that I didn't feel right in my clothes so I stripped off and started running around the house all over again looking for something to wear. 

I somehow ended up dressed then I realised I hadn't looked in any bathrooms so my toiletries weren't packed. 

All in all it was a stupidly dragged out, disorganised departure!  

I did eventually go though and I was at a train station trying to carry all my stuff. A number of people offered to help me into various carriages but they annoyed me. I was looking for something or someone particular but couldn't see it/them so struggled in to a compartment alone. 

(Did anyone else used to love the trains with corridors and separate little compartments?  I used to love those especially if I got one to myself. Mind you I'd inevitably end up with the train weirdo sitting in with me. I'm sure he felt exactly the same)!

Aaaaanyway, back to the dream (although I'm tempted to start a new blog of train incidents.....hmmmm)! ;-)

It turned out I'd chosen the wrong compartment and there was a camel in there. For some reason we both felt embarrassed and struck up a conversation about 1980s music!

I went to find food and came back to find the camel looking very guilty and eating my luggage. I saw a sign saying 'beware of the goat' (!) and decided to complain that I hadn't seen the sign before!

The camel sniggered at me and ended up spitting on everything so I pushed him off the train!  (how cruel)!

Um.....a bit weird?

I know....they are always a bit weird!  Anyway - there were two bits to today's dream. And as it was something to three when I got to sleep it was definitely today!

So in part one, Gwyn was sending me photos embedded with a 3DG code (whatever that is - I suspect it is something to do with his dongle)!  These photos arrived via mini hot air balloon (it was all white and very pretty) and once I licked the photos (!) it activated the code. 

Once activated, the photos would lead me to a piece of gwyn's body!  I had to collect all the pieces and put him back together again in time to watch the rugby!

In part two, I was at my welsh lesson on the last day of term and my husband came with me for the first time. The seating arrangement was impossible, but we got around the problem by making the table longer, using sand. 

The lesson ended and we all had to walk to the next term. 

As we walked, we went through Worcester and this one woman who was sometimes my friend Julie, kept saying how nice it was. I kept saying it was alright, but crap at lunchtime. 

We passed through Worcester and into Pontypool. Once there, the woman got really upset that she'd missed her train, so we decided to keep her company until the next one came and were walking round the Market, with a talking mynah bird. 

The woman wandered off and for a while was in the wrong week;  we shouted really loud and she came back but her train was just going. 

She ran and ran, at breakneck speed down thousands of steps but we couldn't wait to see if she'd caught the 80 minutes past 3 train as the term was getting too far away and we had to hurry. 

We just caught up a bit late as they were doing past tense verbs, but life had run out of black ink so everything was turquoise and a bit glary. 

We all sat down and had diluted tippex thinner and hollow doughnuts at break time.  I had an overwhelming feeling of the past and the present being all mixed up and wrong. 

Stuff..... ?

I was in some strange town somewhere and I had agreed to pose for someone to paint me (!)

Once there I took my clothes off (sigh) lounged on a settee then he actually painted me. I mean....he got a large paint brush and actually painted my skin all over in various colours. 

As I left still not sure whether to object or not and feeling slightly bemused, I realised I didn't know where I was. 

For some reason I started to walk with a large umbrella up even though it was warm and sunny with clear blue skies. 

An old work colleague (that doesn't like me) was sat in a very swanky car and pointed and laughed at me for having the umbrella. She kept shouting at me that I was stupid and seemed very full of hatred for me. 

I realised my mistake with the umbrella but carried on anyway hoping I'd get past the woman as soon as possible. 

The town became countryside as I walked along and I was aware that I was coming up to some sort of theme park on my left. 

I suddenly stopped; realising just in time that I was at a level crossing. The barriers weren't down and the lights weren't flashing but I wanted to check. 

The other side of the crossing and on the right was a car park with a waiting room. 

A man stood and shouted to me explaining that his car should have been washed yesterday but he'd only just noticed and found somewhere to park. 

A car salesman appeared with a clipboard trying to confirm the registration number with the first man, but he could only get as far as 'MS....' when the original man would put his hands over his ears and refuse to listen. 

I was about to cross the level crossing when I noticed a tractor coming. I was shocked that the barrier and lights hadn't worked but then thought maybe a tractor didn't count. 

I was about to cross again when I was almost hit by a speeding train. The barriers came down just after it had passed. 

I thought what a dangerous and useless crossing it was and was about to cross yet again when the man shouted that it turned into a motorway after 6pm and I'd have to wait until the next day to cross. 

I stood and resigned myself to a long wait. It started to rain and I noticed I no longer had the umbrella and all the paint on my skin was being washed off. 

Gibberish...

There was an escaped boy running on an iced (as in cake) road. I couldn't keep up with him so I ran to the garage to get my bike. 

Once in there some people stopped me. They said they were investigating my Dad and had to ask me questions. There were two cars parked in the garage and they asked me lots of questions about both before letting me go. 

By now I'd lost the escaped boy so I decided to head for a posh chocolate shop in Malvern.  I bumped into my Dad on the way so I was warning him about the investigation. 

He gave me money for a day out and told me not to worry. I realised we were on a railway platform so I got on a train. I ended up in Telford and I went to a girl's house to get ready. 

I sat there a while before realising I'd been sitting on an insect so I stood up then realised I had no knickers on. The girl looked in a drawer for replacement knickers but it was full of spoons and she decided a deep white plastic spoon would fit me as a replacement.  

It was time to go out and suddenly there were loads of us. There was an open top bus and I offered to sit outside as I didn't feel the cold. 

While we travelled, the other people on the bus were all blurred as if they were moving, along with the streets we drove through as the bus sped along. They became a rainbow blur as everything else seemed to be moving fast except me. 

I stared at the sky and cried.