Stuff..... ?

I was in some strange town somewhere and I had agreed to pose for someone to paint me (!)

Once there I took my clothes off (sigh) lounged on a settee then he actually painted me. I mean....he got a large paint brush and actually painted my skin all over in various colours. 

As I left still not sure whether to object or not and feeling slightly bemused, I realised I didn't know where I was. 

For some reason I started to walk with a large umbrella up even though it was warm and sunny with clear blue skies. 

An old work colleague (that doesn't like me) was sat in a very swanky car and pointed and laughed at me for having the umbrella. She kept shouting at me that I was stupid and seemed very full of hatred for me. 

I realised my mistake with the umbrella but carried on anyway hoping I'd get past the woman as soon as possible. 

The town became countryside as I walked along and I was aware that I was coming up to some sort of theme park on my left. 

I suddenly stopped; realising just in time that I was at a level crossing. The barriers weren't down and the lights weren't flashing but I wanted to check. 

The other side of the crossing and on the right was a car park with a waiting room. 

A man stood and shouted to me explaining that his car should have been washed yesterday but he'd only just noticed and found somewhere to park. 

A car salesman appeared with a clipboard trying to confirm the registration number with the first man, but he could only get as far as 'MS....' when the original man would put his hands over his ears and refuse to listen. 

I was about to cross the level crossing when I noticed a tractor coming. I was shocked that the barrier and lights hadn't worked but then thought maybe a tractor didn't count. 

I was about to cross again when I was almost hit by a speeding train. The barriers came down just after it had passed. 

I thought what a dangerous and useless crossing it was and was about to cross yet again when the man shouted that it turned into a motorway after 6pm and I'd have to wait until the next day to cross. 

I stood and resigned myself to a long wait. It started to rain and I noticed I no longer had the umbrella and all the paint on my skin was being washed off. 

A horrible but colourful rejection...

Myself and two friends were working as servants at a large mansion.  

We weren't allowed to live with the other servants, but were living outside in the grounds, where they kept the coal.  As a result of being excluded, the three of us were very close and I cared for them a great deal. 

The owner of the mansion was the Queen but she was very ill. She had turned purple and gone all folded and all the stamps had had to be changed. 

Foreign dignitaries kept visiting but they would all fall ill. It was on every news channel. 

We however were more concerned with food. 

The cooks made food for all the other servants but three of us were not allowed in. We stood at the window staring in at roast dinners being eaten, or worse....left half eaten. 

The only food we were allowed was frozen potatoes. The other staff would throw them at us for fun. 

I told my friends that I'd see if I could reason with one of the two head cooks and one day I actually got in and wandered in to their quarters only to realise one of them was my great aunt. 

I thought I'd easily be able to reason with her. She was friendly and welcoming and very sympathetic. She went to get me a cup of tea but came back with a giant omelette which she threw over me. 

When I got it off me I was in a different place and everyone else was there including my two friends who were congratulating each other and laughing at me. 

I had a sudden panicky feeling of being set up and fooled and I realised my friends didn't really like me at all.  

My great aunt told me I was being auctioned off as a slave. She showed me dozens of metal paint tins and told me they all had a different colour. 

The final price they got for me would determine my duties as a slave. Not even the bidders knew the prices and duties but each band of prices had a corresponding colour and I would be painted that colour once the auction was over. 

I had been dressed in a corset and a cape made of black bin bags and rope. It was uncomfortable. 

Alan Sugar arrived. He was to be the auctioneer but he made an announcement first that he had invested all his money by hiding it in sheep in west Wales. 

The tins were opened in readiness and I wondered what colour I'd end up as. 

I didn't think anyone would bid and wondered what they'd do then and if they'd let me go. 

The bidding however, started but it didn't go in order so lower bids were coming after higher bids. 

Also, not all of the bids were in money. Someone bid a zoo car park and someone bid all the post boxes in side streets. 

In the end one of my original 'friends' won the bidding with their bid of the letter 'e'. 

I felt fully resigned to everything going on and the paint colour turned out to be burnt orange which was painted only on to my arms. 

My 'friend' said he'd had pleasure enough already just fooling me for so long so he would donate me to the whole room.  I felt very hurt and bewildered as to why I was so hated. 

Everyone surged towards me cheering and started painting me every colour. Then they just got over excited and just threw the paint over me all shouting and laughing. 

I woke up feeling horrible after this dream :-/ I deliberately haven't named the two friends.

Happy Christmas

I dreamt that as it was so cold, Christmas was moved to June.  The traditional food was declared to be anything raspberry flavoured. I found a raspberry cheesecake I liked and hid it in a drawer under my bed. 

My nieces and mother were with me in a small room in an office building on 'Christmas day' eating bright pink ice cream sprouts. We were looking out at a side street when I saw my boss' boss (SMcG). She had been shrunken and had ice permanently stuck under her feet, so kept falling over. 

For some reason none of us found this funny. 

I discovered I could only go down stairs by throwing myself down them at breakneck speed, totally out of control. 

In this way I arrived in a room where my Dad was painting the walls with white gloss paint.   Everyone immediately started to shout at me that the paint was wet and it seemed no matter where I moved to, it was wrong, as the paint was wet there too. 

In the end everyone pushed me outside with annoyance.  It had been raining and I noticed that I could see scenes from the future in droplets of water. I walked along studying what was going to happen but didn't see a big hole so fell down it. 

All about Clare...

I had gone to see my friend Clare for the day. This dream was a mixture of experiencing it 'live', seeing replays and reading about it. I'll do my best to relay it :-/

As soon as I got there, her two cousins arrived and they all decided to pop out. They said they wouldn't be long so as I'd just arrived I decided to wait in. I noticed a white carrier bag and when I looked inside I was aware of half a title of a James Bond film which made me frown.

Somehow, I knew Clare could hear me so I loudly declared that I hoped she wasn't planning to watch James Bond as I didn't like it and it was boring. I got no reaction so left the bag and went to the bedroom to have sex with my husband.

Afterwards, I realised time was going on, so I spoke to Clare again and she was telling me about an ex-boyfriend. She told me he was only 5'1" but he was a charmer with a nice face and that her family had worshipped him. To demonstrate, I was suddenly in a replay of that part of her life.

Clare however, was aware of me even though it was in the past and she stepped out of her shoes to show me she was a lot shorter than she looked.

All her family were practically falling at the feet of Clare's ex and it sickened me somewhat, so I ignored him.

I took a diversion in Clare's memories and found her and her husband in the showers at the gym. They were dressed in gym clothes and were arguing.

Somehow, I was able to read that they eventually split up over this argument and it was because of the colour of the tiles in the shower so I got an industrial paint sprayer and started to paint them blue.

It started out very effective but got runnier and harder to cover the insipid green. In the end I ran out of paint, so came out of the memories and sat on Clare's settee waiting for her and her cousins to come home.

I heard them outside and realised they'd been home ages but hadn't told me. I noticed it was 7.45pm so the day was almost over. They told me they'd visited Gorslas and Birmingham and I was very cross as that was hardly 'popping out'!

I went home in a strop (home in the dream was just opposite). A fire was lit and I was glad to be home. I noticed all my bedding was on the fire (but wasn't alight) but I thought nothing of it.

Then a man ran in. It was the son of a friend of mine (Justin). He looked shocked, wet and cold so I asked him if he wanted to sit by the fire. He nodded very enthusiastically and curled up actually in the fire. I frowned and warned him to be careful but sure enough he caught fire. I sighed with exasperation and went to get a flannel. I came back and dabbed the damp flannel on him as soon as that bit of him started to burn. I noticed it had spread to my bedding too and felt very fed up.

The flannel was dry now so I went back to the kitchen to dampen it again but I got distracted by white marks on the floor. I used the flannel to wipe them up and as I smelt it I realised it was paint.

I sat on the floor and decided to inhale deeply and started sniffing paint. It was wonderful and I felt happy.